


Beginnings of the Parrish- Lynchs

by I_Carry_Your_Heart_With_Me



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam Parrish Loves Ronan Lynch, Family, Fluff, Husbands, Little bit of angst, M/M, Ronan Lynch Loves Adam Parrish, Swearing, total dads
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2018-08-08 17:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 20,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7767313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Carry_Your_Heart_With_Me/pseuds/I_Carry_Your_Heart_With_Me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of moments from the lives of the one day Parrish- Lynchs! Mostly fluffy family bits but there will be little bits of angst, only because its unavoidable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Funeral

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thanks for taking a chance with this. This first one isn't my usual style but I hope you like it.
> 
> P.S. There are links to some of the music in this fic at the end
> 
> P.P.S. Please be warned that whilst I will try to update this regularly I'm currently writing Fanfic to avoid coursework prep... which I will have to do at some point... sorry

The funeral was beautiful. It was as stunningly beautiful as a funeral without a body could be, it was a coffin filled with memories and, should anyone ask, ashes. It was varnished rosewood and gold handles and an engraving that cost more than everything Adam owned. It was Declan and Ronan and Matthew and an Uncle they had never mentioned carrying and empty coffin in and out of St Agnes. It was Ronan Lynch wearing a golden cross under his shirt and signing hymns about Mary and springtime. It was a multitude of beautiful people with Lynch blue eyes and Irish accents. It was Ronan being folded into lilac scented embraces by tiny, powerful women with tears in their eyes. It was a cemetery filled with flowers, it was a marble headstone so overrun with life and love it hurt. It was Adam holding Ronan. It was an expression of pain on the face of a boy who could take blows without flinching. It was a single sob against a shoulder. It was Ronan holding Matthew. It was a dark head bent to kiss the top of a golden one. It was Declan with tears on his cheeks and both of his brothers in his arms. It was beautiful and terrible and heartbroken and Aurora deserved all of it and more.

 

The wake was Irish. It was loud music and drinking at 10 o'clock in the morning until 10 at night. It was stories about Niall and Aurora. It was uncles and cousins with consoling pats on the shoulders. It was aunts and cousins with open arms and the offer of a home in Ireland. Or England. Or Canada. Or Michigan. It was Opal in a pale dress Blue had helped her make with an angel pin on her cardigan. It was Opal sitting with little boys with freckles and little girls with red hair. It was handshakes with callouses and brisk Irish accents quizzing Adam on his jobs. It was Gansey looking flustered as he tried to puzzle out what they were saying and Ronan conversing easily. It was Blue listening to stories filled with booze and violence and hilarity and power tools and Irish surnames. It was Ronan in so many ways and not him in so many more. It was the CD player being turned up so that one cousin or another could belt out the song alongside the recording. It was a handful of aunts who'd had too much to drink kicking off their heels and doing a short tipsy jig in the living room. It was Ronan Lynch singing quietly to an Irish song with tears on his chin and beer in his hand. It was saying goodbye at midnight and a drunken Declan taking himself to bed. It was Matthew helping Ronan wrap all the food in tin foil and shove it into the fridge. It was Gansey, still fairly sober, offering Blue and Adam a lift, and only Blue excepting. It was Richard Campbell Gansey III disappearing entirely until it was just Gansey, just a boy who wasn't dead at a wake for a woman who was consoling a boy they’d both lived for. It was Blue kissing Ronan's cheek. It was Adam and Ronan sitting on the couch and Ronan pulling his cross out from his shirt. It was a story about his first holy communion and how much he'd hated his suit. It was a story about taking pictures with his parents in front of the altar. It was a story in which Ronan Lynch got a golden cross he never wore. It was a story that sort of, maybe explained to Adam why Ronan was so fond of his religion. It was love and tradition and cousins he hardly knew. It was his dad's smile and mum's camera and a feeling of pride for no reason other than you're own existence.

 

Adam stayed at the Barns that night; he lay beside Ronan in his bed. He was a little in shock. There had been so many people, so many stories. And now there was just this. Just Ronan's head on his chest. Adam placed a kiss on the top of Ronan's head and felt him move closer. Adam was almost asleep when the knock on the door came. Opal entered slowly, her stuffed rabbit dangling from her fist.  
"Can I stay with you?"  
She whispered. Adam didn't reply, merely extended his other arm towards her. Ronan moved closer to the wall and Adam shifted over too. Opal slipped in on Adam's other side. They were a family, although perhaps they did not know it yet. One day young men with Irish accents would tell stories about them in pubs, and at weddings and inevitably, one day, at a wake. But for just then they were the beginnings of a family, the start of something precious.


	2. We can do normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prom is coming up and Ronan is a sap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terribly sorry if this is OOC! Also very sorry it took so long to get something so short up, today was my AS results day and it's all I've been thinking about for days which has had a bit of a negative effect on my writing BUT hopefully this is ok!

Adam hadn’t really thought about Prom. Ronan had finally left school the term before exams and knew little to nothing about it, so Adam just kinda assumed they wouldn’t be going. That was until Ronan asked him.

He didn’t do the whole promposal thing; there were no roses or marching bands or signs hung from various objects. Ronan did it the way he did many things, in his own time and in his own way. They’d just finished dinner, Opal had cleared her plate only after ice cream had been promised and Adam was running the tap to wash up. Ronan sidled up beside him, a tea towel in hand, under the guise of drying the plates, though in reality all he seemed to be doing was staring out the window. As the plates, cutlery and pans began to stack up on the draining board Adam sighed.

“Are you actually going to dry anything?...Ronan? Earth to Ronan”

“D’you wanna go to prom?”

Adam almost dropped the plate he was holding.

“What?”

Ronan took the plate from Adam’s hands and turned to face him.

“Do you want to go to Prom?”

Adam stared at Ronan with his mouth open.

“Never mind, forget I asked”

Adam caught Ronan’s shoulders before he could turn back to the dishes.

“Wait, I… just wait a second, ok?”

Adam took a deep breath. He thought about Prom; he’d need a new suit, probably have to buy flowers… _What was the one that went in the buttonhole called? Button something…Boutonniere that was it_. Maybe hire a car? _Did people still do that?_ He supposed they could just take the BMW, it was flashy enough. They’d have to get someone to watch Opal, but Maura would probably be willing to look after her for a few hours, especially if Blue went with Gansey. Plus it might be fun, last night clichés and all that.

“Yeah, yeah I’d like to go to Prom”

Ronan looked up from the tea towel he was now twisting round and round his hands. His face split into a wide loving smile.

“Yeah?”

Ronan asked quietly. Adam nodded, suddenly at a loss for words. He leaned forward and kissed Ronan until he couldn’t breathe, lips against lips soft and sweet and as close to chaste as a breath-stealing kiss could get.

“I didn’t know you wanted to go, or I would have brought it up sooner”

Adam told him simply.

“I didn’t, not really, but then Gansey started talking about how this would be our last proper night together before exams, and about how we needed a bit of normal, and I just got thinking and I figured, hey we could do normal, right? I mean we’re a magical gay couple currently raising a half-goat five year old but we could do normal!”

Adam laughed, he once again pressed his lips to Ronan’s.

“We can do normal”

Ronan grinned. It was child-like and happy and reminded Adam of those days before his mother’s unmaking when he seemed to radiate with youth and joy when he laughed. It had disappeared for a while but that joy was coming back, bit by bit.

“Can I have my ice cream now?”

Both boys turned to find Opal in the doorway, her new pyjamas streaked with mud and a pair of Ronan’s work boots swallowing her legs almost up to the knee, Chainsaw rested on her shoulder.

Adam smirked. So they weren’t normal, that was ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I might do another couple of bits about Prom, we'll see
> 
> Yours
> 
> I_Carry_Your_Heart_With_Me xx


	3. Stomach bugs and quiet eternities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam wakes up to find Ronan comforting a sick Opal. Sweet ramblings and late night cuddles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is once again much too short and I apologise, my already chaotic updating schedule may get worse in the next couple of weeks as I start back at school soon, however on the plus side I have finally started my Coursework and I got a job! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Adam hadn’t woken up to retching since the early days of his father’s alcoholism, the days when his father still sort of had a steady job and his violence was reserved to sudden drunken outburst followed by apologies. At first Adam thought it was Ronan, the bed was cold behind him, but the distinctly female- and distinctly childlike- crying from the bathroom suggested otherwise. Adam clambered out of bed, rubbing sleep from his eyes he headed towards the bathroom.   
Ronan was sitting on the floor of the bathroom with Opal in his lap, tears running down her face. Both sets of Lynch blue eyes rose to greet him, one set tired and worried, the other teary and bloodshot. Adam joined them on the floor, sitting as close to Ronan as he could without also sitting on his lap. Ronan rested his head on Adam’s shoulder. They sat there in silence for an indeterminable amount of time; it could have been an hour, or a day, or eternity. It felt like time had stopped, and in that quiet eternity Adam did not have school tomorrow and Ronan did not have cows to feed and Opal did not have to worry about losing Adam to college. And then Opal vomited on Ronan’s shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope to get another chapter up some time next week but don't hold me to that!
> 
> I_Carry_Your_Heart_With_Me


	4. Nobody makes my little girl cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Opal gets into a fight at school and Adam has a slight existential crisis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it hasn't been too long a wait! Also, in case you're wondering why Opal's at school but Adam's at work, In the UK- where I'm from- you do your exams around May/June and then you start summer early, I honestly have no idea how they operate in America during exam season so.... yeah your stuck with a UK-centric school system. Sorry.

“I’d love to chat, but my shift doesn’t end for another half hour,” Adam told his boyfriend, jamming the phone between his shoulder and his face so that he could continue to tinker with the engine in front of him.

“You work too fucking hard Parrish, but I didn’t call for a chat. Opal’s school called me,” Ronan sounded annoyed and tired, like he had reached the end of his tether and didn’t know what to do.

“What? What’s happened?”

“She got in a fight”

“She what!” Adam exclaimed. He put his tools down and held the phone properly, Ronan had dreamt it for him and he knew the grease on his hands wouldn’t harm it.

“She. Got. In. A. Fight. With some kid, the principal said Opal almost took his teeth out. Anyway, they want me to come in and talk to them,” the resignation in Ronan’s voice told Adam he wasn’t happy about it. Ronan hadn’t had much luck with school officials in the past and Adam imagined that being forced back into that environment would not be something he’d be eager to do.

“You want me to come with you? “ When Ronan didn’t answer immediately Adam regretted asking. It’s not like Opal was his kid too. She was Ronan’s. Yeah they lived together, and Opal called him Dad that one time but she was tired and sick and it didn’t even really count, and the school wouldn’t know that, he’d just be some random guy.

“Yeah”

Ronan’s affirmation cut through Adam’s panicked mind like a knife through butter.

“Can you get to her school by three?’

Adam checked the clock.

“Yeah, I’ll meet you there”

Ronan grunted and hung up. Adam shoved his phone back into his pocket and continued fixing the engine, if he wanted to have it done by three he’d have to get a move on.

 

Ronan was standing outside the reception when Adam arrived at Elm Road Elementary School; he was wearing his staple leather jacket and tank top over jeans, a deadly smirk teasing the corners of his mouth. When he saw Adam his smirk softened into more of a smile. Ronan was incongruent with their surroundings, his sharp features and dark clothing a sharp juxtaposition next to the brightly painted, sun warmed elementary school behind him. Ronan had been reluctant to send Opal to school- after all it’s not like magical dream children usually went to school- but she had insisted.

“Adam goes to school!” she’d screamed, “You go to school! Why cant I go to school?!”

Logic had failed them, Ronan had already dreamt her several pair of shoes that could hide her hooves as well as a pair of socks that made them look human, a quick note and even gym wouldn’t be a problem, on top of that they couldn’t get away from the fact that she was a child- dreamt or no- and children should go to school. They’d toyed with the suggestion of home-schooling but in the end decided against it, as Ronan had put it “She’ll always be different, lets not add another reason.” Of course they were living to regret that decision, Opal loved school, but school did not love Opal. She could barely read, she couldn’t really write- though she had her name down pat- and whilst she’d made friends it always seemed like she was the last to be invited to anything. It drove Adam mad sometimes, like the week before when everyone had been invited to Peter’s birthday party except Opal and her friend Simon. And now she’d gotten in a fight. Oh the joys of parenthood.

“You ready?’ Ronan asked as Adam came to stand in front of him.

“Not really, you?”

Ronan smirked again.

“Not really, I thought we’d finally left this shit behind.”

Now it was Adam’s turn to smirk

“What getting called to the principal’s office? She your daughter Lynch, I’m surprised we weren’t here earlier.”

Ronan smiled properly this time, suddenly looking less like a biker and more like an angel.

“Your kid too Parrish, does that mean the principal’s gonna give us an attendance award at the same time?”

Adam rolled his yes.

“Come on lets get this over with” Taking Ronan’s hand in his Adam strode purposely towards the school. Just because they had no idea what they were doing didn’t mean they couldn’t look confident whilst doing it.

 

They’d listened to the bulldog like principal ramble about zero-tolerance and anti-violence for almost ten minutes before he’d finally allowed Opal to explain her actions. She turned to look at Adam and Ronan before she spoke, checking that they were there, that they weren’t going to leave her.

“We were doing about weddings and Simon said how his mum and dad were married and I said that my Kerah wasn’t married, but that we had Adam. Then Daniel said that because they weren’t married that meant Adam didn’t love us,” Opal started crying, small sobs interrupting her words, “and I said that wasn’t true and then Daniel said it didn’t matter anyway because Adam and Kerah were boys and boys aren’t allowed to get married because it’s _bad.”_

Opal’s tears had gotten heavier. Adam felt like he couldn’t breathe, anger was a living thing inside him it sat heavily on his lungs and used his heart like a punching bag. Anger blinded him in a way he associated only with kicking bins and his father’s fists. The difference was now the anger was directed. He wasn’t a slave to his anger; he wielded it like a weapon. Ronan had knelt beside Opal’s chair. Adam could feel the rage radiating from Ronan, but he also knew that if anyone could handle anger it was his boyfriend.

“And of course knowing all of this you punished Daniel immediately and called us in to apologise for our daughters distress”

“Mr Parrish, surely you appreciate that what Opal did can not be condoned. Now, I understand that you’re upset but-“

“But what? But it doesn’t matter because Daniel has a Mommy and a Daddy? But it’s ok, because hey! Opal hit him and that is wayyyy worse than emotional scaring! But what principal Stevens? Enlighten me”

“Now, Mr Parrish please-“

“No”

“I… you haven’t even heard what I’ve got to say”

“No I haven’t, nor do I care. It’s perfectly clear that this is not the kind of environment we want our child educated in, you seem to _condone_ Daniel’s homophobic behaviour, which clearly violates your zero-tolerance policy, but can’t give Opal a second chance. I don’t think that’s fair, Ronan?”

“I agree, you know I hear St Julius’s Catholic Elementary is supposed to be very nice, maybe Southbank Elementary?” Ronan’s anger had simmered down into a pointed resentment; he glared at the principal as he hoisted Opal onto his hip.

“Definitely, I’ll call on Monday and arrange a transfer. Come on Opal we’re going”

The principal argued and pushed and suggested. But the fact of the matter was Adam’s mind was made up and, more importantly, Ronan’s was Opal was not coming back to this school; she was not going to be hurt. No body made their little girl cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, feel free to leave a comment and I'll reply as soon as I can.
> 
> I_Carry_Your_Heart_With_Me


	5. The Dance Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Opal attends her first dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm sorry this is so late, I've just started back at school and everything's a bit manic! To all those starting your A-levels this year, good luck I'm in my second year now and my soul is dead.   
> Anyways... I hope you enjoy this

The dance part I:

Her dress hadn't been dreamt, but bought. After all, a dream dress would never have appealed to the garish, glitter fuelled tastes of a small child. Layers of black lace were offset by gold glitter and a large silken bow. Her blonde hair had been twisted and tucked and plaited into as elaborate a style as a pixie cut would allow, and beneath all her finery she wore a pair of steel toed boots, golden ribbon threaded through in place of laces.   
Opal was going to the Daddy-Daughter dance. She approached the stairs with trepidation, below was Kerah with a camera. Kerah who would take her to the dance. Only he wasn't dressed. He stood at the foot of the stairs, Aunty Blue behind him, camera in hand but... barefoot and still in overalls.   
Opal's brows drew together in confusion.   
“Kerah? Why aren’t you dressed?”  
“I figured you wouldn’t want to take your Kerah to the dance, not when you could take Daddy”  
Opal’s frown deepened. Puzzlement clouding her face. Until Adam stepped out from the living room. His hair was combed nicely, his suit clean and ironed and wonderful, his tie the gold of her ribbons. He was here.  
"Hey"  
He said. Little above a whisper. Adam.  
Opal bounded from the stairs, throwing herself at her Dad.  
"You came"  
She whispered. Her face tucked against his neck.   
"Of course I came," he told her, "you're my little girl"  
Opal grinned. A camera snapped behind them. Both turned to look at Ronan, and behind him Blue (trying her best no to cry.)

 

Adam had been back at school for a week when the parcel arrived. It was a wooden photo frame, clearly dreamt if the detailed wood working was anything to go by. Inside it was a photograph of him and Opal the night of her dance. She was smiling at him, arms locked around her neck, and he was smiling back. Their hair was almost the same colour in the light from the windows. Their eyes matched. They looked like family. Like father and daughter. Ronan’s favourite two-thirds of the Lynch Family caught on camera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Feel free to leave a comment and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!


	6. The Dance Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Opal Goes to Prom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So I don't know if any of you are still following this, if you are I cannot apologise enough for this unexpected hiatus!! A-levels are crazy and I am so swamped in coursework right now I can hardly move BuT, I got an unconditional Uni offer this week so I'm giving myself a break, and you a chapter. I hope you enjoy!!

Things Adam Parrish was not cut out for:  
\- Long distance running  
\- Anything involving the use of paint that required even the slightest amount of artistic ability  
\- Prom dress shopping with his 17 year old step-daughter and his apparently tasteless boyfriend

“Where did you even find that? Did you ask the assistant for the dress that most closely resembled baby vomit?”  
Opal eyebrows were somewhere near her hairline she scowled at the hideous amalgamation of chiffon and taffeta Ronan held in front of him. Adam thought that in the mid 90s it was probably a very fashionable bridesmaid’s dress, but now it looked like… well, like baby vomit.  
“What? It’s nice dress it’s… peach”  
Ronan shook it slightly so that the skirts flared momentarily, revealing an equally horrid looking fuchsia petticoat.  
“Looks more like mouldy tangerine if you ask me”  
Ronan glared at her; turning beseeching eyes on Adam he shook the skirts again.  
“I’m with O on this one, it’s awful”  
“Betrayed by my own lover, how Shakespearean,” Ronan gasped clutching his chest in mock hurt.  
Rolling his eyes Adam turned back to the rack of bridesmaid dresses and vintage lace in front of him. Opal had insisted that they buy her dress from a vintage shop, a romantic idea she’d picked up from her Aunt Blue. Blue had started to influence Opal’s dress sense around about the time she turned 10, it had combined quite strangely with Ronan’s love of black and leather and resulted in Opal owning a strange number of shredded and embroidered leather jackets. It also meant that she wanted something different. No off the rack dress for Opal Lynch, oh no. She was re-vamping one by hand. They already had a several yards of black netting, a box of studs and a thick dark gold ribbon Opal had found in a second hand shop in the trunk of the BMW. Now all they needed was a dress to tear up.  
Opal pulled a deep royal blue dress from the rail. It was full length and silk but as she held it up to her it was clear it would swamp her figure. Opal had gotten tall around puberty, tall and curvy, her features had sharpened, much like Ronan’s, and she has started to look almost elfin. There was a certain mischief to her profile that reminded Adam of Ronan when he laughed. It reminded him of shopping carts in car parks and Cabeswater.  
Forcing the blue dress back onto the rail Opal continued to rifle through them. Leaving her to grumble to herself Adam wandered through the shop. Eventually he came to a collection of dead eyed mannequins, all decked out in vintage finery. He wandered along them, classic red dresses and little black ones, a couple of wedding dresses here and there, and –right at the end- a full length deep green evening gown. It was velvet and high necked, with three quarter length sleeves and a deep V at the back. It was made for a shorter woman and Adam thought it would fall mid shin on Opal, 50s style. It was perfect.

Three sleepless nights, six arguments and one small fire later and Opal Lynch was ready for the Prom. Her long hair- she’d grown her pixie cut out in her sophomore year- was curled and pinned into an elaborate half up half down plaited style with a single green ribbon woven through it which had taken Adam 3 hours and about 17 YouTube videos to create (it was also, incidentally, the cause of five out of the six arguments.) Her dress had underpinned with black netting, which poked out at the bottom, and a deep V had been cut into the neckline and filled with the same netting, mirroring the back. Her usual combat boots had been swapped for a pair of stiletto heeled ankle boots- specially dreamed by Ronan for the occasion- she’d spent two of her sleepless nights hand decorating with studs. The thick gold ribbon was wrapped around her neck and tied in a floppy bow. She was stunning.  
“I can’t believe he’s late”  
“I can’t believe you’re going to prom with Aglionby boy”  
Opal stopped her pacing to glare at her father.  
“Kerah you were an Agliobny boy”  
Ronan rolled his shoulders slightly.  
“Yes I was, lets hope your date has heard of me, it’ll save a conversation”  
Opal’s scolding was loud and filled with feminist wrath, it made Adam feel a little bit nostalgic, Blue would be proud.  
“Don’t worry, he’s only joking. Your Kerah has no right to trot out “don’t hurt my daughter” speeches after Gansey gave me one”  
Both pairs of Lynch blue eyes snapped to him.  
“What?” Opal exclaimed just as Ronan asked “When?”  
Smirking to himself Adam began to tell the story, only to be interrupted by the roaring of an expensive engine.

Adam wasn’t sure what he thought about Joshua Offerman IV (or “Just Josh”) when they left. He was handsome in a polished sought of way, which reminded Adam of Gansey’s politician smile and Henry’s Vancouver crowd. But beneath that there was something human. Then Josh brought Opal home perfectly on time, completely sober and smiling like the sun and Adam decided that he liked him. He wasn’t a forever boyfriend, Opal had been pretty clear about that when she told them she had a date, but for right now Adam was confident in his daughter’s safety, in her choices. They hadn’t had a chance to talk when he’d come to pick her up, not properly, but now as he stood awkwardly in their hallway- Ronan’s eyes flicking up and down him in a sharp assessing way- Adam decided he didn’t really mind.  
“Good night?”  
He asked. Opal grinned at him.  
“The best,” she affirmed turning to Josh to share a small private smile.  
“It was great Mr Lynch, really great,” Josh informed him, smiling in a tense I-think-your-boyfriend’s-gonna-kill-me way that Adam had seen hundreds of times before.  
“Actually my names Parrish, Ronan’s yet to make an honest man out of me”  
Josh’s eyes widened.  
“You’re Adam Parrish?”  
Adam fought a smirk, as he shot a glance over his shoulder at Ronan. Heard of you, huh? He thought to himself.  
“Yeah, didn’t know I was famous”  
“I, you’re not, not really but my cousin always talks about you”  
“Who’s your cousin?”  
Ronan snapped, clearly his lack of fame was irritating him  
“Uh, Tad”  
“TAD FUCKING CARRUTHERS? Are you shitting me?”  
Josh’s face was a picture of fear.  
“N-no Sir”  
“I can’t believe this”  
“Ronan,” Adam sighed.  
“No, this is ridiculous, as if he didn’t even mention me”  
“Well-“ Josh started before Adam cut him off.  
“Don’t placate him, he’s just pissed because he thinks his Aglionby famous but” Adam turned a judging look on Ronan “He’s not and should accept that.”  
With Ronan pouting behind him and Opal looking embarrassed in the entryway Adam said goodnight to his daughter’s not-forever- boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading,and for putting up with my long breaks! Sorry for any mistakes! Please leave a comment if you enjoyed it and I'll reply as soon as I can
> 
> Yours
> 
> I_Carry_Your_Heart_With_Me


	7. A Cold Walk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam's car breaks down and Ronan goes to fetch him... The Ronan's car breaks down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! Hope you had a wonderful Christmas/ Hanukkah/ Kwanzaa/ Yalda/ Solstice and/or random Sunday in December. This is more to build up the next chapter but I felt bad for not posting anything over the holidays (coursework is evil)
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: There is a fair bit of swearing towards the beginning of this, and unfortunately the beginning is pretty important so it may be best to skip this chapter if you find swearing distressing xx

In retrospect borrowing Gansey’s Suburban was a bad move. But really who could blame him? When choosing a car to drive through the snow in, in an effort to pick your boyfriend up from the roadside diner he’d had to walk to from where his car broke down, you usually think, hey which car is bigger? Which car will survive the storm? Which of these cars did my late father not dream up? You don’t think, hey I wonder is Gansey has ever had the fucking wheels changed on this preppy piece of shit?  
“Shit”  
Ronan pulled off onto the hard shoulder, zipping his leather jacket up to his chin he threw the door open and stepped out into the blistering snow. Tugging down the irritatingly bright bobble hat he’d found in the footwell he crouched beside the front right-hand tyre, which coincidently had a massive fuck-off hole in it.  
“God damn stupid ass piece of shit,” he muttered under his breath. He got back into the car; opening up the glove compartment he rooted around until he found the pair of outrageously expensive ox blood leather driving gloves he’d seen earlier. Then he tugged the awkwardly long and uneven scarf Opal had knitted him- with help from Maura- from his duffel bag and wrapped it around his neck. He was only about a mile from the diner Adam was stuck in, and whilst he wasn’t looking forward to the prospect of walking, it wasn’t too far.  
He began his long trudge through the snow, the collar of is coat turned up against the wind. After about 10 minutes he could see the glowing fluorescents of a cheap roadside diner, and in the sitting in the window- the cheap dollar store bulbs backlighting him like a halo- was Adam. His hair was damp mess and his thin duffel coat was stuck to him in a weird patchy way but he was beautiful nonetheless. Ronan shoved the door open angrily. Stomping the snow from his feet with more force than was strictly necessary he ripped the hideous hat from his head and plonked down in front of his soaked boyfriend. Adam’s head flew up from his book and he smiled widely at Ronan.  
“I thought you were picking me up?”  
Adam smirked at him, cataloguing Ronan’s variety of accessories with an amused look in his eyes.  
“Gansey’s shitty car blew a wheel”  
Adam’s smirk changed quickly to a look of concern.  
“I’m fine”  
Ronan muttered under his breath. Glaring slowly around the room he signalled a waitress over. She was old and cheery looking, with a ruddy, jowly face. He ordered a black coffee and asked about the closest motel.  
“Wathya gotta do is go about 5 miles down that road there and you’ll see a turn off, take the turn off keep going for another coupla miles and you’ll see Joey’s come up onya left.”  
She had a thick accent he couldn’t quite place, a strange mongrel of American lilts all falling into one another with a strong southern edge. Her nametag read “Dora”.  
“Course it’s a long ol’ walk in this weather. Ya’ll got a car?”  
“Broke down about a mile away”  
Nodding solemnly Dora pulled a notebook from the front of her apron and scrawled a number across the first page.  
“Joey’s number, give him a call tell him Dora gave you his number”  
Handing Ronan the number she headed off to get his coffee.   
“Guess we’re staying at Joey’s tonight, huh?”  
Flicking his eyes up Ronan smiled as best he could. Trying to ignore the heavy disappointment in his chest and the heavier box in his jacket pocket.


	8. Flu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam gets sick and thoughtful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear God how long has it been?!?  
> Sorry about the unannounced hiatus (again) but weirdly enough my broadband provider has blocked AO3??????????  
> Don't know why! Luckily I'm babysitting at the moment so I'm borrowing their wifi.  
> I hope you guys like this, those of you that are still putting up with me that is, it's not very long but I felt really bad for not posting anything in so long.  
> Sorry!!  
> Many thanks  
> I_Carry_Your_Heart_With_Me
> 
> P.s. Please feel free to leave a comment and I will get back to you as soon as I can x

Adam thought he was going to split in two. Pain stabbed through his abdomen, radiated up through his torso and flashed down his back. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a bug, for a split second- before the pain returned with a vengeance- he wondered if Cabeswater had had a hand in that.   
He wasn’t sure if he was running a fever, but the reflection that stared back at him from across the room had bright eyes and scarlet cheeks. His hair was soaked with sweat and sticking to his forehead in strange shapes. He wanted to call Ronan. He wanted to hear him coo reassuring things down the phone, his sharp voice cool and calming. He wanted to listen to him swear about the chicken coup, and pretend he was lying on their mattress at home and not on his own lumpy, dorm room mattress. He wanted to talk to him, he wanted to moan about how much his stomach hurt to something other than his pot plant, he wanted to Ronan to rub his cold broad hand down his aching back and have it be so wonderfully gentle that it almost hurt. Adam wanted his boyfriend to sit beside him and tell him he was going to be ok, to feed him soup and peppermint tea. 

When Adam woke up someone was knocking on his door. He stood up slowly, one of his thin hands clutching his stomach. The walk from the bed to the door was a dark swirling blur. He hadn’t opened the curtains and now the room was lit only by the faintest glow from outside street lamps. Adam tried the door but it was locked. He let his forehead thump against the cold wood before he turned to the table and began scrambling through his books and papers. Adam closed his hand over the round edges of his key ring. It was a water-smoothed stone from the Barns, a whole burrowed through the top and a carefully preserved painting of flowers splashed across the side. He missed the keyhole the first couple of times but got the door open eventually. On the other side Ronan Lynch was glaring. Blue eyes filled with anger and concern and love. Filled with joy at seeing him and pain at his pain and worry at his burning eyes and chapped lips.  
“You look like shit Parrish.”   
He grumbled, his voice cool and calming. Adam felt tears well in his eyes as he fell forward against his boyfriend.  
“I feel like shit.”


	9. Regular Occurrences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crying is becoming something of a regular occurrence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for putting up with my unannounced hiatus!  
> I am updating AGAIN, because apparently this works in school, but not in my home! What is wrong with net nanny software?
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
> 
> Thanks  
> I_Carry_Your_Heart_With_Me

Crying alone had become something of a habit. It wasn’t necessarily that Ronan had something against people seeing him crying. In all honesty, he hardly cried often enough for the thought to cross his mind. But now it was becoming fairly common. Opal was rude, he cried. Blue was sharp, he cried. Adam text him and said he was swamped with work and couldn’t call, he cried. Bad dream, he cried. Out of milk for his coffee that morning, you guessed it, he cried. It wasn’t that Ronan was sad, he wasn’t, not really, it just felt like suddenly everything was there. Suddenly everything was on top of him. Because he was opals Kerah and Adam wasn’t there, and Blue was experiencing serious jet lag always, and Gansey was busy and even Henry-fucking-Cheng didn’t really have enough time for him. Because Maura was helpful, but she was her own person and not his mother. Because he was an orphan. Because Declan was an eejit and Matthew was lovely and sweet and vacuous. Because he was 18 years old and sometimes that meant sitting down and sobbing your heart out on the kitchen floor because you were out of milk; and also because you ran a farm that was falling apart; and because you’re a single parent and your daughter is three reading levels below what she should be, and what the fuck do you even do in that situation like bloody hell she’s a fucking satyr what do you do! Because Adam wasn’t here, but Ronan needed him sometimes, needed someone to stand behind him and hold him up, needed his magician.

Ronan didn’t know how Calla knew. He didn’t think her psychic powers extended to seeing random teenage acquaintances sobbing on their kitchen floors; but clearly, he was wrong. She let herself in through the backdoor and sat down beside him without saying anything. After a little while he calmed down enough to meet her eyes. His own were damp and stinging, sticky with half-dried tears and still slightly blurred with moisture. Calla handed him a tissue.  
“Tell me.”  
It poured out of Ronan. His voice was thick and croaky but that didn’t stop him. Opal, Adam, Gansey, Blue, Henry. He was alone and scared and freaking out. He was a dad, a boyfriend, a friend, a farmer, a business owner. He was Ronan Lynch and he was strong, he was stony and rough. He drank hard and drove fast and swore loud. He was the Greywaren. Dreamer of dreams. Fighter of fights. Magician among men. And he was alone.  
When he finished, he felt hollow. Emptied out and raw, as though his insides had been pulled out of his mouth. Calla pursed her lips.  
“What a croc of shit,” she snapped, “you’re not alone Ronan, what your friends go off on an adventure and your kid’s a bit of a jerk and suddenly you’re alone? Adam has homework and you’re alone? You’re not alone Ronan, you’re never alone, you got us and you got Opal and you got too much goddamn magic in you to ever, ever be alone. Maybe you do have to be strong, ‘cause Opal’s relying on you and Adam needs someone to fall back on, but that doesn’t mean you can’t fall back on him, that doesn’t mean you can’t have shitty days. It doesn’t mean you can’t cry in the shower, or scream in the car. It doesn’t mean going to bed at half eight and wasting you’re life away. It means you fall apart, you hate yourself, you hate everyone else, you cry, and then you pick yourself up off the floor and you remember that you’re not alone and that they need you. It means you pick yourself up and you recognise that you can ask for help. It means waking up in the morning and realising that no matter what happens these people love you, and maybe that doesn’t make everything ok, because life is pretty shit sometimes, but maybe just maybe it can make today a little brighter. It means realising that being overwhelmed, being upset, being terrified, being human does not make you bad person, and it does not make you a bad dad. ”  
Calla finished in a breathless rush, the force in her voice rendering Ronan speechless for a moment. His face was stiff with dried tears, for a split second, he felt something he couldn’t recognise rise in his stomach. It felt a little bit like anger, powerful, heavy, and swelling, but it wasn’t. It was good. Pure.   
“I’m good dad.”  
Calla smiled, her purple painted lips stretching over her brilliantly pearly teeth.  
“Yes you are.”  
“And I need help.”  
“Yes you do.”  
“Will you help me?”  
Calla smiled again.  
“Of course I will, now get the hell up of the floor.”


	10. Kerrah and Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone calls someone else Daddy, and its not nearly as dirty as it sounds... not at all in fact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> Babysitting again so can finally update. It's exam season for me at the moment but luckily that means I'm almost done with school! So more updates to come hopefully. I don't know how long it's going to be before I can update again as, as I've already mentioned, my home wifi does not like AO3, but I will try my best to update as often as I can.
> 
> Feel free to add a comment or ask a question and I'll get back to you as soon as I can
> 
> Love as always
> 
> I_Carry_Your_Heart_With_Me

The first time opal called him dad she was too sick to know what she was saying. At least that’s what Adam told himself. Ronan still wasn’t 100% on the whole internal organs thing but regardless it was clear she could get ill. Really ill, throwing up her stomach lining at 3am ill. They waited, on the bathroom floor, until she was almost asleep then -whilst one went to change into something less vomity- the other scooped her up and carried her back to bed. She wasn’t necessarily delirious, Adam was sure she had some idea of what she was saying, but he doubted that well Opal would have said it with such abandon. Well Opal would have made it burn. A searing love exploding in his stomach, choking him or deep burning pain when she spat it like an insult. She was Ronan’s daughter and she did not do sweet or timid, she did fire and ice, pain and love so bright they hurt. And then, in a truly Lynch like fashion, she destroyed all preconceived notions and whispered, sweetly, timidly, against his shoulder, so low it was almost a dream itself.  
“Goodnight, Daddy”

It wasn’t long after that it became the norm. Goodnight Daddy. Good morning Daddy. Adam half expected Ronan to make a joke out of it, the kind of mildly upsetting, sexual joke he would have made at the beginning of their relationship, back when it was nothing more or less than tentative friendship (at least in Adam’s eyes.) But he didn’t. It was too precious, too entirely blissful and domestic, to me made fun of. It was waking up in each other’s arms with a daughter at the bottom of their bed. It was we and us. It was togetherness in its most pure and radiant form. 

There were parts of Adam, bigger parts than he’d care to admit, that wanted to throw up when she called him that’s. Parts that remembered calling his father “Sir” from day one. Parts that remembered Father’s day cards with smiling cartoon men, and beside him his mother with sunken eyes and fat, finger shaped bruises along her arms. There were parts of him that had nightmares of Opal looking up at him with sunken eyes, nightmares of Ronan with bruises around his neck. And then he woke up. Ronan’s face buried in the side of his neck, Opal in the doorway, her increasingly raggedy looking stuffed toy dangling from he fist, muddy workboats worn like slippers.

“Good morning Daddy”


	11. Proposals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whatever happened at Joey's? And what was in that box?
> 
> Ronan proposes... kinds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! It's been too long, I have no real excuse tbf, anyone starting uni this year, please know it is the best time ever, but it takes over your life.  
> Onto the chapter

Joey wasn’t best pleased about picking up two soaked teenage boys from the local diner at almost 1am, but, apparently, Dora held a special kind of sway because he was there in less than thirty minutes. His truck was dry and warm, and whilst the short drive to the motel was made in awkward silence, both boys were grateful for heat.  
By the time they entered the small reception area every moment felt like a lifetime to Ronan, the box in his pocket got heavier and heavier with each passing second. He started to resent the warm dry air the heaters were blowing out. His throat felt like it was closing up, panic enveloped him. By the time Adam had their room key, his was barely holding himself together.  
Adam chatted brightly to Joey as he showed them to the door, lapsing back into silence as he fumbled with the key. Ronan’s chest felt tight, his hands were shaking with something more than the cold, and black dots began to swim in the edges of his vision. Adam finally got the door open, his fingers numbed by the snow, and Ronan shoved passed him into the room.  
“Woah! OK, someone’s eagar”  
The bemused smile on Adam’s face faded quickly when he caught sight of Ronan’s face. He was pale, shivering and sweating in a way that suggested more than the temperature was getting to him. He collapsed onto the edge of the bed, his head in between his knees.   
“Ro?”  
Adam approached him slowly, striping off his own soaked jacket, and crouched down beside his boyfriend, resting a still cold hand on his back. Ronan leaned into Adam’s body, the side of his shoulder pressing into Adam’s chest, and tried to calm his breathing. His heart was jackhammering in his chest, but the black dots were starting to fade.  
“I’m sorry”  
He whispered, as the panic receded guilt crashed in, it wasn’t meant to happen like this. Adam’s car wasn’t meant to break down, Gansey’s piece of shit wasn’t meant to blow a tyre, and he wasn’t meant to be doing this here. They were supposed to be at home, around the fire. And Blue would make mulled wine with too much cinnamon and it would burn going down, and Opal would try to chew on the fire wood before something more appropriate was provided, and they’d wish they hadn’t given her toffee when Ronan was scrubbing it off her hooves before bed. He was supposed to ask this at home, their home. Not here, not in this dingy motel room just off the interstate.  
“It’s OK, you don’t need to be sorry, it’s OK Ro”  
Adam felt him shake his head against his chest; he pulled Ronan closer, pressing his lips to the top of his boyfriend’s head. They sat like that for the better part of five minutes. Adam’s knees began to cramp but he didn’t move. Eventually Ronan pulled away, he swiped his hand across his face before Adam could see the tears, but the wet patch on his shoulder spoke for itself.  
Ronan warred within himself for a few seconds, here was Adam, cold, and shivering, covered in Ronan’s tears, concern etching a groove between his eyebrows. Here was Adam, and they weren’t at home, and it wasn’t romantic, and Ronan still felt a little bit like his heart was trying to claw its way out of his chest, but that was them, they didn’t do things properly.   
He took the box from his coat. Adam stiffened beside him, his big blue eyes filling now with their own panic. He stood up, shook his head.  
“Ro, I can’t it’s just not-“  
Ronan interrupted him,  
“It’s not what you think.”  
Adam sat down on the bed beside him, now his hands were shaking, he peered up at Ronan through his thick lashes, he’d filled out a little bit at college but he was still too thin, and his sharp cheekbones and full flaring lashes made him look a bit like a china doll. Except he’s not nearly as breakable, Ronan reminded himself. He opened the box.  
Nestled in the black velvet folds wasn’t the slim metal band Adam was suddenly petrified of, it was… a key. Now he was just confused.  
“Ronan, I already have a key, I don’t-“  
“Spare key.”  
“What?”  
“You have the spare key”  
“Uh, yeah, I guess, I don’t… do you want the spare key back?”  
Adam’s complete bafflement drew a smirk to Ronan’s lips; he fought the urge to laugh.  
“No, I don’t want it back, I wanted to give you a key Adam, a real key-“  
“So now the spare key’s not a real key?”  
“Forget the spare key!”  
Ronan half-snapped, he hung his head, took a deep breath and looked up. He ignored the smirk on Adam’s face.  
“Adam… I wanted to give you a real key, because you should have a real key to our house, because… because I want you to move in, properly.”  
The smirk on Adam’s face wavered, there was a split second when Ronan honestly thought he was going to say no, and then Adam’s face split into a grin. He looks like an angel.  
“OK.”  
“OK? Big romantic gesture and I get an OK?”  
Adam laughed, a real deep belly laugh, and then they were both laughing, and kissing, and laughing whilst they kissed. It was messy and they both still had cold hands, and Ronan was pretty sure he still had tears somewhere on his face but it didn’t matter. This was them. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment and I'll back to you ASAP
> 
> Yours
> 
> I_Carry_Your_Heart_With_Me


	12. Proposals Pt.2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronan and Adam are both on the same page... unfortunately the other doesn't know that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in two days? Wish I could say it would last, enjoy! x

_Ronan’s yet to make an honest man out of me_. The phrase haunted Ronan’s dreams; it swirled around him, tattooed itself on his ring finger and occasionally gutted him. For the better part of a month he’d woken up with rings, bouquets, stationary, fucking monogrammed napkins clutched to his chest. If it was vaguely wedding related, chances were Ronan Lynch had pulled it from his dreams like some kind of magical groom-zilla. There was now a small corner of the furthest barn dedicated entirely to the various items of wedding paraphernalia he’d managed to dream up.

The fact of the matter was, Ronan wanted to get married. Boy oh boy, did Ronan want to get married, and in true form he wanted to do it in the most incongruous way ever. Hard-edged, leather wearing, fist-fight starting, beer bottle smashing Ronan Lynch, with his tattoo and his swearing and his penchant for terrible rap music, wanted a big white wedding. He couldn’t have a church- and even though he’d always known that it still kinda stung - but he could have a fucking glorious venue. Something with ‘character’ and ‘original features’ and all that other fancy, flourishy shit they talked about on house hunting shows. He wanted a frankly obscene amount of flowers, and a genuinely insulting number of guests. Christ almighty he even wanted Gansey to give an awful speech complete with embarrassing photographs. Ronan wanted to pick out bridesmaids dresses, and help Gansey find a tie, he wanted Opal to bitch about the colour he chose, but help him find a suit anyways. He wanted Blue to throw him the world’s worst stag night, and he wanted Henry to play wedding planner, and he wanted Declan to get too drunk and dance with Calla.

Ronan wanted a big white wedding, but he also wanted to elope, just them, and their little family, maybe in the woods somewhere. Blue would dress like a lampshade, and Opal would dress like a rock band reject and he could wear his tank top and his combat boots and Adam would probably wear that blue button down he was so fond of. He wanted quiet and intimate. Maura would bake a cake, and they’d hold a barbecue at the Barns, and Declan would still get too drunk, and maybe he’d fall asleep in a field, and maybe Ronan wouldn’t leave him there. He wanted all of it. But more than that, more than any of it, he wanted to Adam. He wanted to wake up with the solid weight of a ring on his finger and his husband in the bed beside him.

He wasn’t even looking, not really. Oh sure he _looked_ , but he wasn’t _looking_. It was perfect, simple. A thin white gold band, more rounded than the last one he’d been captivated by, yellow gold was traditional, but white gold would look stunning on Adam’s tanned, freckled hands. It was almost identical to every other ring he’d seen. Almost but not quite, engraved on the front, as if it had been waiting for him, was a slopping cursive ‘R’. Example of their font types or not, Ronan no longer believed in coincidences, he bought it. And on the walk home he considered for the first time how he was actually going to do this.

Adam wanted to get married. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was going to about it yet, but he knew it was true. He’d finished school, he’d passed the bar, he had a good job. He remembered all those years ago, when Ronan had pulled that box from his pocket in the bedroom of a cheap motel how scared he had been. Hardly 18, only half way through his first year at college, nowhere near prepared enough to be someone’s husband. Not entirely sure he was prepared enough to be someone’s boyfriend, to be Opal’s dad. That was a long time ago, and a lot had changed since then. Adam was a different person now, at least that what’s he told himself. He was stronger, therapy and time had helped him heal a lot, and he was a lot better at admitting to himself when he wanted something. And what he wanted more than anything was to call Ronan husband.

It’s not really something he’d considered, both because there was very big part of him that didn’t think he’d live long enough to get married, and because an even bigger part of him simply couldn’t believe anyone would ever want to marry him. Ronan was it for him, Adam knew this, had known this for years. Since their first kiss, maybe since before that, since the day Ronan hit his dad, since the first time he’d heard Ronan laugh. And yet… there was a difference between knowing Ronan was ‘the one’ –if you will- and declaring that in front of a group of their friends and relatives. Adam knew his embarrassment was unfounded; they’d lived together since they were 18, raised a satyr, had a joint checking account and had been walked in on multiple times by various members of their family (due in large part to Gansey’s penchant for surprises.) He put it off for a long time, didn’t think about buying a ring, didn’t think about building an arch of vines and blossoms in the new Cabeswater and proposing under it, didn’t think about buying a wedding magazine, or growing his own flowers for the pews, or what kind of cake they’d get. He definitely didn’t think about Blue being his best woman, and his college roommates being groomsmen, and Chainsaw being the first corvid ring bearer.

So needless to say he wasn’t looking, oh sure he _looked_ , but he wasn’t _looking_. And then he found it. Not simple, no plain gold wedding band for Ronan, twisting Celtic vines held between two thin bands, platinum between black titanium. It was perfect. He bought it, and on the walk back to his office, Adam finally began thinking about how he was going to do this.


	13. Freshman Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snapshots from Adam's first year at uni

I. The day Adam moved into his student digs was one of the most difficult and exhilarating days of his life. On the one hand, he was leaving Henrietta, leaving all that shit behind and moving across the country, he could do anything, be anyone. On the other hand, he was leaving Henrietta, moving across the country, and that meant he was going to be a bar minimum of five and a half hours from Ronan.  
When his bags were in his room, and Ronan had very fervently denied crying, and then maybe cried a little bit, and then kissed him like the world was about to end, Adam was alone. He was the first to move in, he had roommate that hadn’t yet arrived, and he knew that the shared kitchen was still empty.  
Unpacking took less time than he thought, and then Adam was alone…and bored. His plants were set up carefully across the windowsill, a collection of succulents from Blue- in a hand painted pot- a small mint plant from Gansey, and from Ronan a small potted flower he’d dreamt. Adam didn’t know what it would look like when it bloomed, but he suspected it would be spectacular.  
He was building the courage to go and explore the welcome fair when his dorm room door slammed open. On the other side, dragging a large suitcase behind him was Adam’s roommate. If he had to guess, he’d put the boy in front of him at 5’6”, which left him nearly a foot shorter than Adam. He was plump in an athletic way, maybe a football player or something equally full contact, and when he looked up Adam could see a curious pair of brown eyes behind his simple navy glasses.  
“Hi! I’m Jason.”  
He offered a hand to be shaken in a move that reminded Adam distinctly of Gansey.  
“Adam.”  
Jason’s smile widened even further, he pulled his suitcase the rest of the way in and dumped it unceremoniously onto the bed, he was followed in by a large balding man Adam assumed was his father, and behind him a petite woman with thick red hair and the same wide dark eyes.  
Adam tried to stay out of the way as Jason and his parents brought all of his stuff up to the room, he’d offered to help but had been quickly and politely shot down by Jason’s mother. She was nice, her accent wasn’t far from Adam’s own, a little further south he thought, but not much. It wasn’t long until they dissipated, quick tight hugs and motherly words of advice. For the second time that day Adam felt a lump rise in his throat, but for a very different reason this time.  
“So…”  
It was clear neither of them really knew how to start, Jason flopped down on his bed, the springs protesting loudly at the rough treatment.  
“So…”  
Adam agreed.

 

II. “You have to.”  
“Jace no, come on, the football guys don’t even like me”  
“I like you”  
“You don’t count, you live with me”  
Jason sighed loudly through his nose, flopping onto Adam’s bed, his head now right in the middle of Adam’s contract textbook. He pouted up at him, all jutting lip and puppy dog eyes.  
“Pleaseeeeeee”  
It was Adam’s turn to sigh; he looked away from Jason, glancing briefly at the ceiling as if the ugly cream popcorn was going to give him strength.  
“Fine,” Jason started whooping immediately, “but I have work tomorrow so I can’t stay that late.”  
“Ok, ok, that’s fine.”  
Jason looked like he was considering hugging Adam for about five seconds before he thought better of it. Adam tugged his textbook out from under his roommate, and started packing his notes away. Looks like they were going to a party.

The party was too loud, and Jason had vanished into the crowd, not quite on purpose, he was just too short to successfully keep track of in a room this crowded. Adam got himself a soda, before finding a clear patch of wall to hold up. Across the room he spotted a guy from his tort seminar, beside him sat a very irate looking young woman, wearing a very orange slip dress, knee high socks, and a pair of steel-toed boots. She looked almost painfully like Blue, if you ignored the fact that she was tall and blonde. The guy looked up then and saw Adam, surprise flitted across his face, and then he waved him over.  
“Hey man, Adam right?”  
Adam tried for a friendly smile; he reminded himself that making friends was an important part of college.  
“Yeah, um, Trent?”  
Seminar guy, Trent, nodded, he introduced Adam to the girl beside him, her name was Sarah, “But everyone calls me Lady”, and she was taking women’s studies with politics.  
They fell easily into conversation, Lady was like Blue in more ways than just the fashion taste and Trent’s sudden boisterous jokes reminded him a lot of Noah. By the end of the night, Adam had been introduced to three more members of their circle and had all of their numbers saved in his phone. He excused himself at 2am, citing his early morning shift, and was pleasantly surprised when Trent and Theo volunteered to come back with him. He said a hasty goodbye to Lady and the others and they left.  
Adam tried not to get ahead of himself as they walked home laughing and jostling, Theo walking a good half a block with Trent in a headlock. And maybe it was the fact that he was a little bit psychic, and maybe it was just blind optimism, but Adam felt like he’d found his place, like a good, long friendship was brewing.

 

III. “I’m done, I’m so fucking done, I’m actually beyond fucked, fucked would be an upgrade at this point.”  
Adam lay a comforting hand on Zara’s back, shooting a pleading glance at Lady across the table, if Gansey had been group dad, Lady was group mum, dealing with hurt feelings and existential crisis with little effort and astounding dexterity.  
“You’re not fucked babe, you got this.”  
Zara moved her head so her chin sat against the pages of her book, shooting Lady a Ronan worthy glare.  
“I’m. Fucked. I’m going to drop out of uni and become a goat.”  
“A goat?”  
Lady questioned.  
“Yeah, haven’t you seen those videos on Facebook, those fuckers have a great life, running round being all cute and shit, living the dream.”  
Zara slammed her head back into the textbook.  
“My boyfriend has goats… well he has goat.”  
Adam said, thinking back to the angry, black Billy-goat Ronan had dreamt up, and promptly had to put in a separate field where he couldn’t head-butt anyone.  
“Ooooooo, the illustrious Ronan… wait why does he have a goat?”  
Zara asked, momentarily distracted from her own impending failure.  
“He’s a farmer.”  
Zara nodded, but now Lady and Theo and were giving him quizzical looks from across the table.  
“Ronan’s a farmer? I thought you said he was like, super rich or whatever.”  
Adam cringed, he had not said exactly that Ronan was super rich; he had said that Ronan did stupid things with his money, which was true.  
“Uh, yeah he is, it’s kinda both, family farm, family money.”  
Lady quirked a single eyebrow in a way that suggested she thought Adam was lying, but had no way to prove it.

 

IV. “Dude, come on, we wanna meet them!”  
Adam rolled his eyes as Luke flopped down next to him, his feet across Adam’s lap. Lady and Zara were sat on the floor in front of them, heads bent together as they watched the fiftieth dog video in a row, Jason shooting Lady poorly disguised heart-eyes from the lone armchair opposite. Somewhere behind them in the kitchen, Theo and Trent were arguing about the best way to make nachos.  
“I know, but this is the first time I’ve seen them in months and they just, like, we’re a unit you know? And I love you guys but I just don’t want you to feel left out.”  
Blue, Gansey and Henry had recently returned from a six month stint travelling around South America, and after putting in a mandatory appearance at some event of Gansey’s mother, were making a pit stop/ detour at Georgetown on their way back down to Henrietta, and Ronan.  
From her spot on the floor Lady snorted loudly, turning away from the phone in her hands she gave Adam a look, it was a look that said ‘get over yourself.’  
“Adam, you are hands down the most aloof, mysterious person we know, I think introducing us to your friends would do the opposite of making us feel left out.”  
Adam grimaced, her words stinging slightly, Lady had a habit of being blunt and as upsetting as it was sometimes, he appreciated her blind honesty.  
“I’m not aloof!”  
He protested, now it was Zara and Luke’s turns to snort. Adam turned pleading eyes on Jason.  
“I mean… you are a little aloof, but like, in a nice way!”  
Jason placated, his hands held out in front of him.  
“I don’t mean to be.”  
Adam sighed, leant his head back against the couch cushions, feeling a little wretched. Lady gently slapped his knee.  
“We know that! You just have too many secrets Addy-boy”  
Adam wrinkled his nose at the nickname, it reminded him uncannily of Henry’s nicknames for Gansey.  
“Fine, I guess I can introduce you, but you guys can’t be weird OK?”  
This time it was Trent who snorted.  
“I don’t know man, that’s a big ask.”

 

V. Blue Sargent was absolutely nothing like what they imagined Adam’s friends would look like, for one thing she was had turned up wearing a neon green oversized t-shirt advertising “Camp Whala-hoo-hoo”, over a purple and black long sleeved t-shirt and a pair of bedazzled denim shorts. She was wearing knee high fish net tights and a pair of heavy work boots that had been quite obviously spray painted bubble-gum pink. She was also clinging to Adam’s neck like a deranged monkey. Adam’s simple red t-shirt and his worn jeans looked at once incredibly plain, and startlingly fashionable next to Blue’s ensemble. Something which could not be said for Gansey’s mint green polo shirt and chino-short combo, or indeed Henry’s decision to wear a paisley dinner jacket over his own t-shirt and jeans.  
The trio, who had emerged from the most hideously orange car any of them had ever seen, took turns embracing Adam. He was smiling at them like they were the sun, and he had spent the last several weeks in a dark cave.  
“God, I missed you guys.”  
A chorus of confirmation erupted from the strange multi-coloured trio, Gansey genuinely looking like he was going to cry. Lady’s unmatched Instagram stalking skills meant they all knew what Adam’s friends looked like, they knew they’d been travelling the world, and they knew Gansey and Adam and Henry had met at some fancy-ass private school in fuck-nowhere Virginia. None of this actually prepared them to meet Adam’s friends.  
Adam introduced them, polite and cheerful as always, but beneath it, his apprehension was obvious. He was clearly worried about both groups opinion of the other. Lady stepped forward with a wide smile, owning her position as de facto group leader, and started shaking Gansey’s offered hand.  
“It’s really great to meet you all.”

By the end of the evening Blue and Lady had swapped outfits in the middle of the living room; Luke was sat half across Henry and they were engaged in a very intense game of snap; Gansey and Theo were animatedly discussing ancient history, with the occasional interruption from Zara who was putting her Old English module to good use; and Adam found himself sitting in a small circle on the floor attempting to explain the basics of tarot to both Trent and Jason, neither of which were fully grasping anything.  
“Wait so death doesn’t mean death?”  
Adam tried very hard not to roll his eyes; Blue on the other hand had no such qualms and snorted very loudly and obnoxiously behind them. Flipping her the bird, Adam took a deep breath and began his explanation again.  
“Not usually, it’s more like rebirth, or change you know?”  
Jason nodded, accepting. Trent was still frowning.  
“Look lets just move on to something else, yeah?”  
Adam said, drawing another card from the deck.

Adam wasn’t sure when he introduced them how this was going to go, but if someone had told them that at 3am all ten of them would be squeezed onto the narrow couches watching Jerry Springer re-runs and eating ice cream he probably wouldn’t have believed them. On screen a woman in a very tight pink dress announced that she had been cheating on her husband with his identical twin brother for the past six months, the couches erupted in to shouts and whoops.  
“Oh my God!”  
“Wait Identical twin what the fuckkkkk!”  
“Wait shit, what about the baby?”  
And sure enough, almost as if Luke had spoken it into the world, the woman on screen admitted the baby was the brother’s. The couch erupted again, beside him Blue scream-laughed so hard she almost fell off.  
Adam couldn’t contain his smile, this he thought, was exactly what he had hoped for, and some how even better.

 

VI. The first time Adam’s friends met Ronan Lynch it was an accident. He had visited Adam on a whim, had woken up that morning bloody for the first time in months, tears on his face, Adam’s name on his lips. He drove from the Barns to Georgetown stopping only once, hopped up on caffeine and the desperate need to see Adam again.  
When he arrived outside Adam’s dorm room, it was a short auburn haired boy that opened the door. Ronan recognised Jason from Adam’s snapchat and various other forms of social media. As much as Ronan hated his phone, he’d made a concerted effort to become more tech-literate as soon as Adam had started uploading pictures of his face to the Internet. Ronan was a very, very big fan of Adam Parrish’s selfies.  
Jason’s eyes widened considerably at the sight of Ronan, he knew for a fact that Adam had a framed picture of him and Opal on his bedside table so chances were Jason recognised him; which meant the shock probably had more to do with the gash on Ronan’s forehead and the beaten leather jacket he was wearing.  
“You’re…you’re Adam’s boyfriend.”  
Ronan fought the urge to sneer, he didn’t actually want to terrify Adam’s roommate, although the thought momentarily amused him.  
“Observant. Is he here?”  
Jason shook his head no; fumbling for a sheet of paper on Adam’s desk, he presented Ronan with a colour-coded timetable. Parrish you fucking nerd he thought to himself as he scanned over it.  
“He’s not done till 3, I’ll come back, is there a coffee shop or something nearby?”  
Jason appeared to have been quite genuinely rendered speechless by Ronan’s question, blinking rapidly at him for a good thirty seconds before he could muster a response.  
“I was gonna meet up with a few of Adam’s friends… you could come… if you wanted?”

Adam’s first thought upon opening Lady’s message and seeing Ronan, was HOLY FUCK IT’S RONAN followed closely by WHAT THE FUCK IS RONAN DOING WITH MY FRIENDS? Now Adam was deliriously, heart-swellingly, unbelievably in love with Ronan Lynch, he was hallmark-movie levels of in love with Ronan Lynch. And yet despite that he had never been so entirely terrified of his boyfriend as he was when he found him giggling manically in a corner booth, bordered on either side by Adam’s university friends.  
Ronan had an angry looking cut on his forehead that Adam made a mental note to ask about as soon as his heart rate had decreased a little bit. He tried to find it in him to smile, but he was certain it more closely resembled a grimace.  
“Hi.”  
Ronan’s head shot up when Adam spoke, he’d been engrossed in the conversation and hadn’t noticed him enter from the street. If Ronan had looked happy before, he positively lit up when he saw Adam. He pushed out of the booth, almost stepping on Zara in the process, and tightly wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, pulling him into a crushingly intense- if chaste- kiss.  
Adam brought his hand up to the side of Ronan’s face, running his thumb gently over the cut, quirking his eyebrow slightly.  
“Nightmare.”  
Ronan whispered, just loud enough that Adam could hear him. Suddenly this unannounced visit made a lot more sense. Ronan’s nightmares tended to follow a “something terrible happens to Adam” storyline since the whole unmaking incident. Adam stroked his face again; slipping an arm around Ronan’s waist, he turned to face his friends.  
“I see you’ve all met Ronan.”

 

VII. Rumour has it Adam Parrish is some kind of witch. He always has an umbrella on days it rains when it’s not supposed to, there’s a plant in his dorm room window that everyone swear changes colour and one time someone even saw a raven sitting on his shoulder. It probably doesn’t help that he is, technically, a little bit psychic. And he isn’t always very good at hiding it.  
Adam Parrish is some kind of genius; he works three jobs, takes a double major (pre-law and politics) and anyone who has ever spoken to him claims his both the nicest and smartest person they’ve ever met. He can often be found offering automotive assistance to unlucky students when their crapbox cars inevitably give up.  
Adam Parrish is unfairly gorgeous, he has eyes the colour of cornflowers and his hair is the kind of carelessly tousled that never goes out of fashion. He’s tall and broad and Ted from Harbin Hall, who swears blind that he saw him in the gym, said Adam is “like super-toned” and that neither his tan nor his freckles stop where his t-shirt starts. His boyfriend is equally gorgeous, but whilst Adam has this whole boy-next-door meets model thing going on, Ronan has more of a Hollywood-bad-boy vibe.  
Adam Parrish is very popular, he has a large group of friends, each of them is as mysterious, and unique and a little bit terrifying as he is, even Jason. Sometimes guys in flashy cars and ugly polo shirts visit, sometimes it guys in flashy cars and leather jackets. But one thing’s for sure, Adam Parrish is an enigma, the kind of guy almost everyone in his lecture group has a crush on, the kind of person he has always wanted to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this isn't an update on the proposals storyline, I'm really struggling to think of ways for them to pop the question. Suggestions are greatly appreciated!! Xx


	14. Happy Birthday Adam Parrish-Lynch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Adam's birthday!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! It is now officially 4th July here in the UK, so Happy B-day Adam!
> 
> This is a little twee, but our boy deserves some love on his birthday. Also this is quite a bit further ahead than the last one, because I've finally figure out how I'm going to write the proposal! But It's going to be angsty af, so this is just some reassurance that they will get through this! Remember that guys.
> 
> Yours
> 
> I_Carry_Your_Heart_With_Me

“You need to get up.”  
Ronan spoke to the pile of blankets that was his husband. Curled up like a cocoon under their thick comforters Adam reminded Ronan of the teenager he used to be, and the young guy he was after that. At nearing thirty, Adam now officially constituted an adult, although as a qualified lawyer one would hope so. The Adam cocoon simply groaned.  
“Up, I mean it.”  
Ronan gently kicked what he thought was Adam’s butt. The cocoon shifted over a bit as he burrowed even further under the blankets.  
“Adam.”  
The cocoon sighed. Adam emerged from under the blankets; his hair mussed and stuck up on one side, sheet marks stretching across one cheek.  
“It’s my birthday, I can sleep in on my birthday.”  
Ronan tried really hard not to roll his eyes, “Usually yes, but we have plans. And this is the first day off you’ve had in months, do you really want to sleep through all of it?”  
Adam sighed again, this time dragging himself from bed and standing up. He had grown a little since they were young, not enough to notice really, not if you didn’t live with him. A little longer in the legs, a little broader in the shoulders, finally eating properly had padded his near skeletal frame out into a lithe athletic build. He was pleasantly muscled under his button up and slacks, or in this case under his tattered sweat pants and t- shirt. Only a couple of years ago Ronan had persuaded him into seeing a hearing specialist, by which he meant he had all but dragged Adam to the appointment, and now a slim grey implant rested in his hair on the left side. Ronan knew it made him self-conscious, but he was getting used to it and his hair was long enough now that it was mostly covered.  
His ring glinted as he ran a hand through his sleep-mussed hair, Ronan couldn’t help the grin that took over his features. This was Adam’s first birthday as his husband, first birthday as a married man. Ronan felt giddy.

The cake was hand-made and carefully (if terribly) decorated. When Opal smiled her teeth were stained with blur food colouring, and Ronan was pretty sure there were sprinkles in her hair, but it didn’t matter. Because it was Adam’s birthday.  
There had been a moment, when he was standing in the kitchen before Adam had finished showering, a moment when his fears got the better of him. With Adam upstairs and the kitchen cleaned for the party later, with Opal getting dressed and nothing to keep him company but the faint buzz of the television in the other room Ronan’s mind began to wonder. He could almost see it, almost feel the hollowness in his chest, almost taste the dark despair that would have consumed him, a moment when he genuinely considered what would have happened, how this day would have been, with it’s fireworks and its parties if Adam hadn’t… if… and then he snapped himself out of it. Because Adam did, and it was his birthday, and they were married!  
And the cake was perfect, it had too many candles and they were all different colours but it didn’t matter. And the burgers were a little bit burnt bur it didn’t matter. Because it was Adam’s birthday!  
Gansey and Blue came; Blue now very, very pregnant, and Gansey now very, very on edge. Every noise left him a quivering mess, at one point Blue stood next to Ronan at the grill and Gansey looked like he was about to have an aneurysm.  
(“The smoke Jane!”  
“Screw the smoke Gansey, I’m pregnant not asthmatic.”)  
And then Declan arrived. He and Ashley hadn’t lasted, they had a good run, three years together before the inevitable split; but, apparently, their relationship had given Declan a taste for the whole long-term thing, because not two years after they split he’d gotten engaged, and not a year after that he’d gotten married. Ronan was his best man, in a surprising olive branch, one that had healed them finally. Tessa was beautiful in a quiet way; she mellowed Declan. He might be hard businessman at work, but with Tess he was like a kid again. Ronan could appreciate the brother he used to know, care free and happy, he smiled more, laughed more, loved more easily. Hell, he was even wearing jeans instead of his trademark suit. She was to Dec what Adam was to Ronan, and suddenly they were brothers again, both healed a little bit by their lovers, both in need of brotherly love again.  
Until very recently Tess had also been very, very pregnant, now she presented Ronan with his nephew. It was the first time he’d seen them since she’d left the hospital and he looked a lot less red, and a lot more human like since he’d last seen him. Sean Niall Lynch, with his blue eyes and his thick dark curls looked a tremendous lot like his favourite uncle.  
And Matthew brought a girl, and Ronan didn’t catch her name, but she was pretty and polite and she had a gentle English accent that Blue cooed over, and he tried to be polite and not bring up the guy Matthew had brought home for 300 Fox ways’ solstice BBQ not two months ago (although he was both confused and curious about Matthew’s apparently very speedy romantic turn around time.)  
And even though it was loud, and messy, and stressful, and everyone got a little bit covered in mud when the goat started kicking it through the fence (‘he has Ronan’s attitude towards social gatherings’, it was perfect. Because it was Adam’s birthday, and they were all together, and they were all alive.


	15. Proposals Pt.3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronan has prepared the perfect proposal, tragedy strikes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is the first section of what's going to be a longer storyline, this is all I've got so far but a lot happens in it so I think it's important to get this up and then I'll go from there. As I mentioned in the last chapter, this is really angsty and it's gonna get worse before it gets better, but remember!! All's fine in the end.

It took a long time, a lot of planning, and agonising, and re-planning, and re-agonising; but finally he had done it, everything was perfect. It was Adam’s birthday, well almost, and they were going out, he’d arranged for everyone to fly in; Zara and Trent were coming straight from their honeymoon; Lady had faux-begrudgingly agreed she could close her gallery for a weekend; Luke and his husband were driving down from New York and bringing Opal with them; Theo and his wife were flying in from California; Jace was coming straight from a business trip in Cleveland; and Blue and Gansey were picking Henry up from the airport- he was flying in from an event he’d planned in Germany- and meeting them there.   
It was a lot of effort, getting everybody in Richmond at the same time, fitting multiple varied schedules together, and then finding a restaurant that catered both to Jace’s fondness for steak and Lady’s insistence they had decent vegan options, and that was still affordable enough that no one felt they needed to re-mortgage their house to buy a bottle of wine. He spent a lot of time on the phone speaking to Saturday workers who obviously had no idea about the intricacies of a restaurant proposal but insisted they could prepare whatever Ronan wanted. But he’d done it, and as he sat there, alone, smiling like his face was going to split in half, he couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling of pride.  
There wasn’t going to be a marching band, or petals falling from the ceiling, or some kind of elaborate photo shoot complete with ostentatious gift. There was going to be a table, in a high end but not extortionate restaurant, and all of their friends, and their daughter with a camera phone. It was going to be fucking glorious, and Ronan felt like the proverbial kid on Christmas morning.

It was going to be perfect. Except Adam was late, really fucking late. Ronan was just passing from pissed into legitimate worry, when Adam’s name lit up his phone. It was an old photo, Adam was maybe 20 in it, smiling, looking down, just a hint of blue could be seen behind his lashes, the sun backlighting him like he was an angel, and he was wearing a faded coco-cola t-shirt with a large paint splatter across it. They’d been painting the dream-barn, recently emptied of now conscious cows; it had been a good day. He swiped his finger across the screen.  
“Parrish, where the hell are you? I was starting to worry.”  
As annoyed as he was, it was relief that filled his voice, until he caught the laboured breathing on the other end.  
“Adam? Are you ok?”  
“Ro.”  
His voice was quivering, weak, pained.  
“Adam?”  
“Ronan.”  
“Adam what’s wrong?”  
His heart sat heavy in his mouth, pounding, almost too loud to hear, Adam’s voice was breaking a sob rattled down the phone.  
“Adam!?!”  
Ronan felt the world closing in on the edges; everything narrowed to the phone against his ear, the sobs, and beyond that, the distant wail of a siren. Lady and Blue had come out to wait with him, and now they stiffened beside him.  
“Ronan… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”  
“No, you don’t have to be sorry, Adam. Baby?”  
The sobs continued, his breath rattled.  
“I love you Ro.”  
It sounded like a goodbye, Ronan felt like his heart had been ripped still beating from his chest.  
“I love you too, I love you so damn much, Adam,” no reply, the siren grew louder, “what’s wrong? Baby tell me, tell me what’s wrong?”  
Ronan couldn’t keep the panic from his voice. He knew Blue was speaking to him but he wasn’t listening. Adam made a noise of pure pain.  
“My legs.”  
Another broken, choked whimper.  
“Baby please you’re scaring me Adam? Adam?”  
“It came out of nowhere, I don’t…hurts, I love you.”  
Ronan stopped breathing, the siren was loud now, louder than Adam’s breathing, then it cut out. He still couldn’t hear Adam’s breathing.  
“Adam!”  
Ronan knew he was screaming now, he felt his knees go out from under him, leant hard against the wall of the restaurant; someone was crouched in front of him, blonde hair, /Lady/, his brain supplied.  
“Baby? Adam?”  
“I love you.”  
It was barley there, barely a breath. Ronan stopped thinking. He could feel tears on his cheeks, distantly he recognised the sound of voices, he couldn’t tell if they were next to him or next to Adam. Lady took the phone from his hands.  
“Hello? This is his boyfriend’s phone… oh, oh my god, where?...WHERE?”

Ronan couldn’t remember getting to the hospital, he couldn’t think. He knew someone was touching him, it was Blue, he could see her, could feel her hand, her lips were moving but he didn’t register what she said. He couldn’t hear anything over the ringing of pain in his ears. A woman was walking towards them; she was wearing a lab coat, she looked serious. Ronan stood.  
“Mr Lynch?”  
He nodded, the ringing was still loud but he tried to push it to one side. This was the doctor.  
“Mr Lynch, my name is Dr. Lovelace,” Her voice was gentle, careful, like he was a wounded animal, “Mr Parrish is still in surgery. It was a nasty accident, we’re doing everything in our power to make sure he’s going to be ok, but this will be a long road.”  
She paused here, he wasn’t sure if she was gathering herself or giving him time to process. ‘A nasty accident’ seemed like an understatement. The police had been and gone, filled him in, not unkindly, but not seeming to realise that Adam was his entire world, that they were destroying his entire world. A white van had come barrelling through a red light at a junction doing 70, smashed into the drivers side door and flipped the car, it rolled at high speed until it collided with the side of a building, taking out a pedestrian in the process. The pedestrian had a broken collarbone and a lot of therapy ahead, the other driver had little more than whiplash. Adam was clinging to life.   
“He’s lost a lot of blood but we’ve got him stable, right now our main concern is his spine, his legs were pinned and he’s got some nasty open breaks and a lot of recovery in his future, but the big worry is the swelling.”  
She paused again. Ronan was trying to process this, trying to figure out what she was going to say before she got there, trying to be proactive. Not for the first time he wished they could’ve swapped places; he would take Adam’s place, he drove like a fucking idiot, it should’ve been him in that twisted metal wreck, if it was him in surgery Adam would know what to do.  
“Now, until the swelling goes down we won’t be able to assess the damage, best case scenario the spinal cord is intact and the swelling is bruising and fluid build up, in which case we might be forced to drain the area but with rehab and a lot of rest he’ll be back on his feet,” she didn’t sound hopeful, “However if the cord has been severed, or if the damage is as extensive as we fear... Mr Parrish is likely to loose all function below the waist.”  
Behind him, he heard a chorus of gasps, Gansey was crying softly, he had been since Adam called.  
“Thank you for letting us know.”  
It was Opal who spoke, her hand slipping into her father’s.  
Ronan felt like the world was going to swallow him whole. He thought maybe he should let it. 

Declan and Tessa showed up half an hour after that first update. His eyes were wild, his hair was stuck up in strange angles and he was quite clearly still wearing pyjamas, but in that moment all Ronan wanted to do was fall apart in his big brother’s arms. He wanted to stop being an adult for a few minutes; he wanted this to not be happening. Declan wrapped his arms around his brother, Ronan was taller now but it didn’t matter, nothing mattered. Ronan was hurting and Declan wanted so badly to take the pain away. The small crowd of their friends watched as Ronan’s knees truly gave out under him, Declan holding him up. He had stopped crying, but now the sobs came again, wracking his entire body. Declan simply tightened his hold.   
When Ronan had once again regained his fragile composure and pulled away Tessa stepped forward, she didn’t hug him, she took both of his hands in hers, wiped a stray tear from his face. Ronan had never really thought about what having a sister would be like, he thought maybe it was Blue’s sniping and banter, but now, here, with Tessa’s eyes filled with pain and resolve, he knew.  
“You need to hold yourself together Ronan, and it’s going to be hard, but there are difficult decisions coming and you have to make them.”   
She didn’t waver, her eyes stayed fixed on his. Ronan took a deep breath. Looked at Tessa, at Declan, at the tear-streaked faces of their friends, at their daughter.   
“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ouch. I'll try and get the next bit up soon.
> 
> Yours
> 
> I_Carry_Your_Heart_With_Me


	16. Finally a proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam wakes up, everyone's happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY! I'm not entirely sure I could have drawn that out more... not that I'm sorry about it.... Ok I'm a little sorry
> 
> I have a few AUs in the works right now, so I'm thinking of rounding this fic off pretty soon. I have a few more things I want to write before I finish it though. If you have any moments you want me to write please leave them in the comments, and I will do my best!!
> 
> Yours
> 
> I_Carry_Your_Heart_With_Me
> 
> Ps./ TW: I make a statement about God in the first paragraph of this that a few people may take issue with, I'm a Catholic and I'm ok with it, but if you're sensitive to things like that pls feel free to skip that paragraph, and start reading at 'Two days later' it won't impact the rest of the chapter xx

When Dr Lovelace told Ronan that the spinal injury was not as severe as they had feared he knew what a miracle felt like. He had seen his best friends raised from the dead, had pulled his daughter from his dreams, had met a woman who wanted to spend the rest of her life with /Declan/: and yet he had not known true miracle until that moment. Ronan was a religious man, but if he hadn’t been this would have converted him. As it was, he simply turned his eyes to the sky and thanked the God he had always believed in, but had strongly suspected was an asshole. And then he went back to his chair beside Adam’s bed and tried not to fiddle with the ring box in his pocket.

Two days later Adam woke up; Ronan was asleep, which was to say for the third time in four days he had passed out at Adam’s bedside. His hand rested loosely in Adam’s, and he used his forearm to pillow his head.  
Adam registered the pain, the mass of bandages and casts, and the oxygen mask over his face. For a split second, he couldn’t figure out what was going on, and then the crash came rushing back to him.  
He could smell burnt rubber in the air, hear the screeching of brakes. The happiness he’d felt, the anticipation, it was the night, he had the ring in his pocket, he’d called the restaurant ahead, everything was perfect. And then the van came out of nowhere. He was going too fast, it was a red light, it was Adam’s right of way. He should’ve checked, it was lazy driving, it was stupid. He could remember the sound, the sickening crunch, the shattering of glass. He could remember finding Ronan in his phone, could remember the fear in his voice.  
He closed his eyes against the onslaught of tears. As much as he didn’t want to wake him up, there was a very, very big part of him that needed to. He squeezed his boyfriend’s hand. Ronan’s head shot up like he’d been electrocuted, the bags under his eyes were deep and bruise purple, his lips were chapped and bleeding and his jaw was shadowed with stubble, but Adam had never seen him more beautiful as he looked then, with tears and pure love standing in his eyes.  
“Hi”  
Ronan’s voice cracked on the word, the tears breaking free and cascading down his face. He brought Adam’s hand to his mouth, brushed his dry lips over Adam’s bandaged knuckles. Adam tried to reply, but a combination of the mask and his desert dry throat made it difficult. Ronan leaned in to kiss his forehead gently; Adam tightened his hold on Ronan’s hand, his own tears breaking free. 

Two hours later, after multiple doctors had assured Ronan that Adam wasn’t going to die anytime soon, and each and everyone one of the friends and family had cried on and kissed and hugged him, Adam and Ronan were alone again. When Ronan had finally given into his need for food Adam had asked Blue to track down the ring, he knew it had been in his pocket when the crash happened and so he was pretty certain it was somewhere in the hospital. His clothes had been thrown out when he got here, but with a few well-placed threats (and possibly a small bribe, but Declan would never admit to it, and no one could technically prove it) the ring was located. Tessa had pressed it into his hands, his soon-to-be-brother-in-law and his best friends all standing in the doorway, Opal had insisted she be allowed to bear witness (‘I’m your kid, that trumps friends’) and after the nurse (a cheery grandmotherly woman named Martha) had helped him sit up enough that he could look Ronan in the eyes properly Adam had no more excuses.  
Ronan sat down again beside him; he looked slightly more human after his food and his trip to the bathroom. Gansey had driven out to the barns the day before and picked up some clothes and some toiletries, Ronan had shaved and washed up in the small hospital toilets, he was wearing a fresh shirt and, whilst the bags under his eyes were still extensive, his face had a little bit more colour in it.  
Adam smiled at him, tried not to look at Opal in the corner who was filming this whole thing on her phone. He fiddled with the bandages on his hands, took a deep breath, and pulled the box out from under the blanket. Ronan stiffened in his chair.  
“Ronan Lynch, I wanted to do this right, I had this whole speech planned, and a bottle of champagne and everything, but I guess plans change. And that sums us up, you know? Nothing ever goes quite as we plan, but we get through it. Together, 

Ronan, I have loved you for longer than I’ve known what that word means. I have loved you harder and better and more fully than I have ever done anything, than I have ever loved anyone. And I know it’s not exactly the perfect time, “ Adam gestured to his bandaged legs, beside him Ronan huffed a sob/laugh “but I almost died, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I can’t spend another minute of my life without knowing if you want to spend the rest of your life with me. So Ronan Lynch,” Adam opened the ring box, still looking Ronan in the eyes, “dreamer or dreams, prince among men, love of my life, my best friend, will you marry me?”  
Ronan didn’t answer straight away; instead he reached into the pocket of his leather jacket, slung haphazardly across the back of his chair, and pulled out his own small velvet box.  
“Well Adam Parrish, love of my life, heart of my heart, my best friend, that depends,” he opened his own box, “Will you marry me?”


	17. Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They tie the knot, this has unapologetically Irish Catholic elements including an Irish/Scottish wedding tradition I'll explain at the end xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long!! I had listened to a million potential wedding songs ngl

“What do you think about…”

“Oh shit, I’m not gonna like this am I?”

“Stripes?”

“Stripes?”

“Yeah, maybe a nice red and white? Or a navy, it’s very cheerful, very different!”

“Yeah Sargent, so are polka-dots, but on the basis that I don’t want you guys to look like fucking tools on my wedding day I’ve elected to avoid patterns usually associated with clowns!”

“Ok well… what about-“

“Nope, that’s it, you’ve had your chance, I’m calling Lady”

Blue let out an indignant squawk of protest, starting a tirade about how female friends were not interchangeable, and then Ronan hung up on her.

Adam had left the hospital approximately six months ago, as soon as he was out of the doors he’d been on the phone to his boss at the firm, and then immediately afterwards he’d started planning the wedding. Three months after that, when a case approximately the size on New Jersey landed on his desk, Ronan had taken over.

It had been six months of near constant headaches and very little to show for it, but finally, after every discussion had been had and every family member had been informed, they were ready to actually start booking shit. Ronan was a big believer in doing, not saying. And so, the actual booking shit part of this planning thing was his favourite part so far. Not that that was difficult, seeing as the preceding step had involved an awful lot of perusing wedding magazines and inquiring, and wandering round big empty rooms with Adam- who was still in a wheelchair following the crash- listening to women called Pam talk about guest lists and table variations.

Ronan found Lady in his phone, it had been a long time since he had first met her at Georgetown, and although he would never admit it out loud, she was probably his favourite member of Adam’s inner circle. Adam Parrish had managed to form his own little court when he went to university, years of being Gansey’s right hand seemed to have given him his own regal, prince-among-men vibe and it had attracted people quickly. With her brutal honesty and her sharp wit-and admittedly her Blue-esque attitude to life- Ronan had taken to Sarah ‘Lady’ McBeth pretty quickly.

“Washington Gallery of Phenomenal Women, Lady speaking, how may I help?”

“Guess who?”

“Lynch, I’m on the clock, this better be important?”

Ronan snorted loudly, they both knew that the gallery was not inundated with phone calls, but he also knew what owning a small business was like and so he tried to keep it brief.

“Bridesmaids, what colour?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“When is it? Like summer?”

“Adam wants early Fall, 15thof September, next year obviously.”

“Ew, why?”

“He likes the way the trees look then.”

“Your fiancé is weird.”

“Says you.”

Lady dropped silent on the other end of the phone. Ronan knew she would be picking at her nail varnish in thought; it was a nervous habit that resulted in little bits of brightly coloured polish often getting stuck to her clothes.

“Where is it?”

“We went to this big old house a few weeks ago, it had gardens and a ballroom and shit, lots of windows, overlooked a big lake, Adam loved it.”

“Okay, so a lake side fancy house in September?”

“Yep.”

“We’re all gonna freeze to death.”

“We’ll get you matching jackets or some shit, colours Lady, colours! I’m stuck here.”

“Okay, okay!”

The silence flooded in again. Ronan was at a loss here, every time he thought he had it, he didn’t. At first he wanted orange, thought it would look striking against the just turning trees, then he thought it would blend in too much. His next thought had been purple, but it washed Opal out, then green, but it would blend in with the grounds, then yellow but it has too childish, then orange again but a different shade, less tangerine more blood orange. At which point- mainly because he’d just though the words ‘blood orange’ were an appropriate colour descriptor- Ronan decided he should enlist some help.

“Ok… What about…grey?”

“Grey?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s not traditional, but with the trees turning, and the lake behind, it would probably stand out, and hey, if you went with like a dark grey Opal would be thrilled, black is basically her signature colour at this point”

“That… is not a terrible idea.”

 

\--

Gansey answered the door in a neon pink polo shirt and Ronan honestly considered just going home and not asking him to be his best man. That shirt was an offence to the world. And then the more rational part of him remembered that his choices right now were pretty limited… and also that Gansey was technically his best friend.

“Hey tiger!”

Ronan tried really hard not to roll his eyes (he failed.)

“Hey Gans, can I come in?”

Gansey moved aside, letting Ronan into the large apartment he shared with Sargent. The drive from the Barns to their apartment in Manhattan had been a long and gruelling one, any reasonable person may have looked into a train, or even a domestic flight, but Ronan was not a reasonable person at the best of times, and something had felt right about driving all this way.

“Maggot out? What is it today? T-shirt bedazzling with orphans?”

Blue had a lot of passions, and luckily being the one true love of a multi-millionaire had the advantage of her being able to entertain multiple sources of eccentric and philanthropic income without worrying about the irregularity of her pay slips. She had achieved a degree and masters in Environmental conservation, with a specialism in plant life which she put to good use as a consultant for a number of sustainable architecture firms in New York, she put her love of art and textiles into running a number of upcycling and thrifting workshops at local community centres, aimed at helping kids make the most out of what they could afford, her desperate need to right all the wrongs of the world had led her to start up a number domestic abuse shelters currently spanning three states, one of which Adam regularly helped out at. Ronan could appreciate the work she put in, and maybe he didn’t say it often enough, and maybe he took the piss, but he was proud of what Blue had achieved, they all were. Gansey meanwhile had finally gotten his Doctorate in History, and now Dr. Richard Campbell Gansey III spent his days setting college girls (and guys) heartbeats fluttering as he lectured them on the minutiae of Renaissance cultural advancement, in his retro tortoise shell glasses and his ugly-ass boat shoes.

“No,” Gansey cleared his throat awkwardly, “She’s tie-dyeing at a kids centre in Queens.”

Ronan smirked; glad his teasing had hit so close to the mark. He flopped into their leather Chesterfield, it was an awful shade of forest green that Gansey seemed to think fit in their vintage/eclectic/antique shop style living room. He wasn’t entirely wrong, but he also wasn’t very correct.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit? Not that I don’t miss you, but it is a very long drive.”

Gansey sat down opposite him. Shot through with nerves Ronan sat up a little straighter on the ugly sofa.

“Tell me about it… I, uh, I had something to ask you.”

Ronan fought the urge to start pacing, he didn’t know why he was so nervous, it’s not like Gansey was going to refuse.

“I hate to break it to you Ronan, but you’ve already proposed to Parrish, and polygamy just isn’t my style.”

Ronan rolled his eyes.

“Yeah laugh it up Dick, I’ll just find some other poor bastard to be my best man.”

The smirk dropped from Gansey’s face, fear and joy and enthusiasm spilling over his features, and for a split second they were seventeen again and the words _“What do you know about Welsh kings?”_  rushed through him.

“Best man?”

“If you’re up for it.”

“But I thought… Declan?”

“Nah, I mean, it’s you, man, it has to be.”

Gansey didn’t say yes, but he did start crying, and Ronan was pretty sure that meant the affirmative.

 

\--

He and Opal had been planning it for a while; she had been coming with him to as many appointments as she could. She was in college now, had been staying up in New York with Luke and his husband Marcus when the crash happened, trying to get her bearings before her first year at Sarah Lawrence in the fall. Now she was driving the six hours back to Virginia whenever she could. He hadn’t asked her to, and in fact, the first time she showed up Adam had chastised her about studying and making friends and better utilising her time. But Opal was a stubborn creature, every inch her father’s daughter, and she had refused both to leave, and to promise she wouldn’t come back.

After a little while Adam grew to appreciate her presence. She wasn’t a little girl anymore, with only a few weeks until her 19th birthday, and her support and encouragement had been a great motivator. The pride in her eyes when he took those first trembling steps had brought him to tears.

He had refused to let Ronan see him like this, he and Ronan had seen the worst parts of each other, and when Adam woke up in that hospital bed, the fate of his legs not dire, but not certain Ronan had been there. When he first got back to the Barns and he couldn’t get out of bed Ronan had been there. When he’d finally gone back to work, in a wheelchair, still struggling to get anywhere by car, still having panic attacks at red lights Ronan had been there. But this felt different; something about the whole situation made him feel self-conscious, made him want to do it alone. He couldn’t put words to it, which had made the fight they had about it all the more difficult to win:

(‘Fuck off Parrish, I need to be there, I need you to need me to be there”

“I know Ronan, but I can’t, I don’t want you to see me like that”

“Why the fuck not? What you think I’m gonna judge you? Gonna take the fucking piss? What kind of fucked up piece of shit fucking fiancé would that make me?”

“No, Ronan, it’s like you don’t get it, I need to do this alone, I need to do this by myself”

“Yeah well, whatever, you do you. Not like I would’ve been any help anyway.”

“Ronan…”)

Opal had been an unexpected and surprising help: it felt different somehow. Adam had raised her, she was as much a part of him as she was a part of Ronan, there would never be judgement, or pity, or anything but the unshakeable belief that Adam was somehow invincible. Maybe that was it, Ronan had seen him come apart, he knew the fragility of Adam all too well, and he would believe in him but there would always be that worry, that concern, Opal didn’t know that worry. In our minds our parents are always indestructible, until something happens, that’s what had brought Ronan to his knees after all, the sudden knowledge that Niall was just as human and killable as the rest of the world. In Opal’s mind, Adam was unstoppable, he was her dad, and the magician, and there was nothing he couldn’t do. Even this.

Eventually the plan had taken form, it had been a year since the crash and Adam could walk again- with the help of a cane- but it was something. Ronan still didn’t know, their wedding was in less than two months and as much as Adam wanted to do the whole surprise-his-husband-at-the-altar-by-WALKING-down-the-aisle routine he didn’t think he could wait that long. Luckily, a series of unfortunate scheduling errors had resulted in an incredibly delayed engagement party, that was really just an excuse for everyone to meet up before the big day and get shit-faced but Adam was okay with it. After all, it gave him a pretty brilliant platform to show off his now working legs.

Opal had arranged everything, the restaurant was hardly more than a hole in the wall to be perfectly honest, but they served good food and good booze and had the kind of intimate low-lighting setting that reminded Adam of Ronan and the barns in a strange warm way. 

A few of Ronan’s cousins and other assorted relatives who wouldn’t be able to make the wedding itself had flown in to join them, and Adam found himself sitting in a circle of tittering old women when Opal stepped up to the mic. She found his eyes in the crowd, giving him just enough time to excuse himself from a particularly loaded conversation with Ronan’s Great-aunt Theresa about why he wasn’t converting to Catholicism, before she announced that they had a surprise for Ronan.

Adam watched as his husband-to-be, backlit by soft gold lights of the restaurant’s private room and the blue light of the drop down screen, moved to a seat carefully set out in the centre of the dance floor. He shot Adam a bemused look before he sat down, which meant he scowled at him in a way that was decidedly murderous, but Adam knew what it meant.

Opal smiled into the microphone, her eyes glimmering in a way they only did when she was causing mischief, thankfully in this case it was Adam sanctioned mischief. Behind her the video began to play. Pictures flitted across the screen, Gansey and Blue sitting on the hood of the Pig, Ronan and Gansey at 16, pre-Niall, with wide care-free smiles, Ronan and Gansey at 18, post-Niall, one with a care-free smile, and the other flipping-off the camera, his thick dark curls long gong. The pictures came thick and fast, an eclectic mix of their teenage years and their present life, one of Declan’s wedding from a couple of years ago, Ronan had lost his jacket and rolled up his cuffs, tan arm slung around Adam’s waist. In another, they were barely 20 leaning against the hood of the BMW, Adam had just started filling out a little, eating better then, Ronan meanwhile was looking unfairly buff, and tan, and happy after two years of manual labour. Adam could still hear what he’d said when he’d pointed it out, _“I’m fucking Irish Parrish, we’re built for this farm shit, stop looking so surprised”_. He tore his eyes away from Ronan’s smiling form in front of the screen, using the growing crowd to hide, as Opal slipped away and joined him at the back of the room.

She helped him stand, handing him the cane she’s stowed somewhere amongst the tables. She helped him take a few trembling steps before he released her hand, with one last fortifying squeeze. Opal hurried back over to the stage, reclaiming the microphone just as the music began to fade.

“Now… as distractions go that one was pretty cute, am I right?” the response was a low rumble of confusion, “but Dad, I think you’ll find the real surprise is behind you.”

Adam watched Ronan turn, almost in slow motion, the light bouncing off of his curls, catching in the blue of his eyes and making them bottomless, a true smile on his face. Adam watched as Ronan’s eyes found him, as he registered what he was seeing. Ronan stood so quickly his chair fell over, his mouth hung slightly open, his ocean blue eyes filling quickly with tears. Adam smiled. Took a step towards him, and another, and another until he had WALKED from where his abandoned wheelchair sat, to where his fiancé stood. Distantly Adam was aware that the room was pin-drop silent, but it didn’t matter, all he could hear was his heartbeat anyway, and all he could see was Ronan’s tear-filled eyes. They were a breath apart now, Adam’s own vision blurred slightly.

“Hi.”

Ronan kissed him. Hard.

 

\--

 

“You want to what? What’s wrong with the ones we already have?”

Adam sighed heavily through his nose, and Ronan tried really hard not to feel like a petulant child. He glared down at the vows he was holding, they were traditional Catholic wedding vows and, personally, Ronan saw nothing wrong with them. Yes it was admittedly a little on the nose given the very valid reasons they had avoided any kind of religious overtones, but this was different, words weren’t Ronan’s thing, action was Ronan’s thing. He didn’t give a shit about the words themselves, these were the vows his parents had read on their wedding day, the vows Declan had read, the vows of every Lynch before them, that was an action he wanted to take, he wanted to put another ring on Adam’s finger and kiss him and be married to him, and he wanted to do it with these vows.

Adam did not see it this way, he wasn’t a massive fan of the religious element; he wanted them to write their own vows, because of course his overachieving nerd-ass had to find a way to make their wedding include homework.

“Is that a serous question?”

Ronan shrugged.

“No…”

Now he definitely sounded like a petulant child. He scrunched up the vows in his hand, tossing the ball of paper carelessly against the kitchen wall. Adam abandoned his cooking on the sideboard and moved towards where Ronan was leaning against the breakfast bar, placing his hands on Ronan’s hips as he stepped between his legs. Adam pressed a kiss to Ronan’s throat, just below his adam’s apple, thumbs rubbing circles into Ronan’s hipbones. Ronan tried not to let it distract him, tried to stay petulant and irritated even as his pulse sped up, even as his arms fell around Adam’s waist, even as Adam started to suck a bruise into the base of his neck. Adam pulled away just far enough to look him in the eyes; the openness of them stole Ronan’s breath a second time.

“This is important to me, having honest vows, ones that we wrote, and I don’t really want to involve the church,” Adam took a deep breath, his thumbs stilling on Ronan’s hips, he was steeling himself, “but I know that the Catholic ones mean a lot to you, and I know that us not being able to do this the Catholic way has been really hard on you. More than I want anything else, I just want you to be happy Ro, so we don’t have to write our own vows, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

Ronan felt a little bit like Adam had sucker-punched him. The truth was, the Catholic vows only meant as much to him as tradition did, and tradition only mattered because in the back of his mind he’d always somehow hoped he’d get to do the whole church wedding thing and this was as close as he would ever come.  But he also knew what it meant for Adam to give him this, to cede control, but more than that to tell him what this meant, how he felt about it, and still put Ronan first. Ronan pressed his forehead gently against Adam’s, stealing a chaste kiss.

“Why don’t we do both? We’ll write them, mostly, but we can keep a few lines right? Make them what both of us want.”

Adam smiled up at him, smiled like Ronan had just given him the sun.

“That sounds perfect.”

 

\--

The wedding pictures arrived two weeks after the day. They had paid extra for a leather-bound book; as soon as he saw it, Ronan knew this had absolutely been the correct decision. It was soft in his hands, supple brown leather with their names embossed across the front in silver “Adam and Ronan Parrish-Lynch.”

“Babe! Babe it’s here.”

He didn’t need to turn around to know Adam was clattering down the stairs, he made enough noise for a heard of elephants, but Ronan didn’t mind. Every overloud footstep reminded him of what almost happened. Adam catapulted over the back of the sofa, as spritely and energetic as he was at 18.

They leafed through it together, each photograph drawing them closer to tears, one of them in particular made the breath stick in Ronan’s throat. It was the five of them, him and Adam in the middle in their matching navy suits, Blue in the long charcoal dresses and pale dove grey capes of their bridesmaids, Gansey and Henry in the dark grey suits of the groomsmen. Behind them the rolling greens of the gardens and the lake stretched out, endless and blue as a summer sky, the autumnal trees set the shores on fire. The picture itself was breath-taking, it looked like something straight from the pages of a magazine, the two grooms pressed against each other, polished and beautiful, Gansey and Henry with their poster boy, moneyed charm and Blue, her hair in a simple, swept up-do, studded with pearls and flowers, smiling brightly like a model, or a perfume advert. The way the colours worked together, the lake impossibly similar to Adam’s eyes, the light through the trees encasing Ronan like a halo, the greys and navy’s starkly different from the surroundings, like they were real people pasted into a fairy-tale. But perhaps the most awe-inspiring part of this picture was the sheer-joy in it, five people who didn’t know if they would live long enough to be happy, experiencing true happiness.

At the back of the album, slotted into a leather pouch was a DVD. They put it in, watched as both of them walked up the aisle, Ronan followed by Gansey and Henry, and his brothers, Adam followed by Blue, Lady, Jason and Trent. They watched the ceremony again, Adam held his breath a second time as all eyes turned to Ronan.

“I Ronan Niall Lynch, take you Adam Parrish, to be my husband,

and my best friend,

to have and to hold,

to love and to cherish,

to annoy and to amuse,

from this day forward,

for as long as you will have me,

you make me a better person, and I promise to hold your heart and to give you mine,

to love you and want you unconditionally,

I promise to make you laugh more than I make you cry,

to protect and support you,

to stand by you in sickness and in health,

for richer or poorer,

until death do us part.”

His tears fell at the same time as the Adam on the screen.

“I Adam Parrish, take you Ronan Niall Lynch, to be my husband,

and the other half of my heart,

to have and to hold,

to love and to cherish,

for as long as I can,

you’ve always said that I was magic, and maybe I am, but all of my magic, all of it, comes from you, you taught me how to love, and I can only hope that one day I will be as good at it as you are.

I promise to make you laugh more than I make you cry,

to protect and support you,

to stand by you in sickness and in health, 

for richer or poorer,

until death do us part.”

And just like that, they were both crying, Adam tried to focus on the rest of the ceremony, but suddenly it held no interest. They watched the video, curled together on the couch, neither of them saying much, laughing where it was appropriate, pointing out the particularly hideous outfits of the guests’; Orla’s criminally short white dress (“who the fuck wears white to a motherfucking wedding?” ”Babe, it’s not like either of us was wearing white.” “That’s not the point Parrish” “Hey, that’s Parrish-Lynch to you!”) The awful yellow floral thing Ronan’s cousin Marie had worn, Mark-from-the-farmer’s-market’s terrible fuchsia tie. Neither of them could be bothered to concentrate much, until the speeches arrived. Gansey stood, flawless and commanding, their King, and their friend. He had been a strange mix of Gansey’s that day one part boyish and happy, one part president-cellphone, one part king in court. He cleared his throat and the room dropped silent.

“When Ronan asked me to be his best man I can't say I was entirely surprised, it’s not like he had a lot of friends to choose from,” the crowd laughed, Ronan flipped him a finger, his smile still effervescent, “but I was still so happy to be asked, to get to be such a big part of today. It’s not every day that two people fall so incredibly in love, and it’s definitely not everyday that we get to celebrate that. Ronan, you have been my brother and my rock since we were 15, I have seen you grow and change and heal. You’re more than my best friend, you’re my family and I am so happy and so proud that you have found someone who makes you so happy… and more importantly someone who can put up with your god awful taste in music,” more tittering, “Adam, you truly are a saint. You became such a huge part of all of our lives without even trying, you became family, you are the kindest most spectacularly brilliant man I have ever known-“

“Oi, mitts of my husband Dick!”

Ronan interrupted, giggling from the gathered crowd, Blue rolled her eyes.

“And!,” Gansey paused to see if Ronan would interrupt him again, “its only fitting that you should find a man who’s is as unbelievably wonderful as you are. So, I think that’s a long enough speech, Ronan hates when I go on, if you would all be upstanding, to the grooms! May their lives be long, and full of love.”

The rest of the speeches were short and sweet, Declan said a few words, they toasted, Lady and Trent did a joint speech filled with embarrassing stories, they toasted, Matthew said something light and sweet, they toasted, Opal thanked them for teaching her how to love, they cried, and finally Blue stood up. She wasn’t technically the Maid of Honour but that was probably the best approximation of her role. She cleared her throat in a powerful, political way that Gansey had taught her and the room once again fell silent.

“Adam didn’t ask me to make a speech tonight, and for a little while I was happy to not make one, but the thing is in all the time I have known him, Adam had never really asked me to do anything, and so I decided I was going to make one anyway, and Adam would just have to deal with it,” Adam laughed, reaching up he took Blue’s hand, “you see that’s the thing, Adam has never asked any of us for anything he couldn’t do by himself, he is the strongest, most stubborn, most tenacious, most irritating person I have ever had the pleasure to know.”

Blue stopped to clear her throat, she had been addressing the crowd but now she looked directly at the two of them. On the couch, Adam leaned forward, trying to get closer to the screen.

“But now he is asking Ronan to be with him, to support him and love him, and I am so awed by that, by the love they share. I have never not been amazed by Adam’s capacity to love, and I have never not been aware of his surprise when he’s loved back. Adam Parrish-Lynch, you are the best friend I could ever have asked for, you are the brother I did not know I needed,” Blue was crying now, taking deep breaths so that she could speak through her tears, Adam could see her knuckles were white where he was gripping them “you make my life brighter everyday, and I am so thankful that you have found someone who makes your life brighter. Ronan, you’re unbearable, and brilliant, and kind, and almost as stubborn as your husband, and I am so, so proud of you and so, so grateful that you have given my brother everything he deserves, that you are the person who protects his heart, that you have given him a home,” He was crying now too, all three of them blubbering on screen, the two men brought to tears once more in the privacy of their living room,” If you would all be upstanding, to my brother Adam and his husband Ronan!” on screen Adam pulled Blue into him, crushing her into the tightest hug he could manage. Adam had seen Gansey as a brother-in -arms for a long time, comrades and friends, but this was different. The psychics and Fox way had become a family to him in the most parental sense. Maura had become like a mother to him, more of a mother than his own had ever been, had once told him- after too many Calla-mixed drinks- that she had to look after him, after all, Persephone had always wanted children, one day. It had felt like an admission of what they had become, and in that moment, with his sister’s arms around his middle and his husband at his back Adam had known that he would never be alone again.

In the present, Adam tried to focus again as the video cut to the slicing the cake, and then to them drinking from the silver and copper Quaich they’d been gifted, the Adam on screen wincing slightly as the whiskey hit the back of his throat. He watched as they took their first dance, and then he permitted Ronan to turn it off, the last few notes of The Whistlin’ Donkeys still ringing in his ear.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so a Quaich is a little cup/bowl thing with handles and when a couple gets married they put whisky in it and they do that thing where they link arms and drink? It's pretty simple concept and it can sometimes look pretty awkward cause a Quaich isn't the best shape to share a drink from it, but it has some super-cute connotations, it used to be used predominantly in Scotland to represent the joining of two clans/families and was later adopted into Irish and Swedish tradition.
> 
> Here's a link to the closest I could find to the Quaich in my head, it's this but with bits of copper: http://buyaquaich.com/3-5-celtic-quaich
> 
> This is a link to the song they dance too, there are a lot of versions, by a few different bands, I just personally prefer this one:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiWJWJ2nLH4

**Author's Note:**

> Some of the music from the fic:
> 
> The Hymn (Queen of the May): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DLLaNrtToHk
> 
> The Irish music: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oWVLXxrttHo
> 
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=46EXY4oP1Do
> 
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e-ZAL_1rcfQ
> 
> Just so everyone knows I'm from an Irish Catholic family so all of these are songs that have a) sung or b) have heard played at various family events, similarly the stuff i've mentioned about Irish wakes- as cliché as it may seem- is all pretty accurate.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave a comment and I'll get back to you when I get a chance xxx
> 
> I_Carry_Your_Heart_With_Me


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